YES OR NO

It was morning, and in front of me is a list of questions for an English composition.

I can't really recall or regurgitate the exact questions per se, but they sound along the line of:
"Recount an experience with someone who terrifies you so much that you tremble at the sight of him/her",
"Orientations in schools are usually a good opportunity to make new friends and make memories. Write about your own experiences, and to what extent do you agree with the above statement" and such.



I don't know about you, but at that instant, I felt stifled. The questions are quite a bore, and are definitely quite restrictive - in my personal opinion. For one, I don't think there is any person (yet) whom I'm sooo terrified of that I tremble at the sight of said person. Neither do I enjoy orientations of any sort (at least, not when I'm on the receiving end).

Frowning at the newly-discovered realization of this aversion for restrictive questions, I pondered briefly for the reason behind it. Just then, an old and forgotten memory came washing back like a good old friend. A sense of deja vu.



**************



It was in a mock English oral. We were preparing for the real English oral for O Levels. I was 15, or 16. Having completed "reading the passage" component, Mr. Teacher and I were in the midst of our "oral conversation".

The contents leading up to such are murky in my memories, but somehow, Mr. Teacher asked conversationally whether do I take to sports. I replied no, and that I'm not really athletic. He then asked, "Oh, then do you like to exercise? Do you, say, enjoy swimming?" I replied back swiftly, "No. I can't swim." Mr. Teacher pressed on further, "Why not?". I couldn't really think of a reason, and thus made up a lame one on the spot, "Because, of, errmmm... Fear of the unknown?" Believe me, I sounded like a total wimp.



Pretty soon after that, the oral ended. As feedback, Mr. Teacher commented that it's NOT GOOD to be too honest - because apparently, in a manner of speaking, my grades are inversely proportional to the number of times I reply "no" to questions. Even if you can't swim, Mr. Teacher continued, pretend that you can. Say yes, don't say no. That was his advice in short; the gist of the underlying message he was trying to get across.



Even till this day, I staunchly refuse to accept or concur with his ground of argument. For one, by telling a younger charge "not to be honest", what morals and principles is he indirectly and inadvertently imparting?

Secondly, I don't see the point in having a conversation in the first place if all it's going to amount to is a pack of lies.

Thirdly, you're the teacher, and I, (was) the student. If the conversation halts, it's your prerogative to either dig further, or to come in from another angle to keep the conversation going. It's not my duty to "lie" - or cook up some stories - just to make up for a person's lack of competency.

Not forgetting, this is Oral. My role here is to speak English, use English, converse in English, and answer questions in English; and NOT to weave up imaginary stories. I don't see the sense in taking up the additional burden of story-weaving. I'm not here to weave stories or to conjure up a supposedly double-life. As if undergoing an Oral examination is not stressful enough?!

Let us wind back the story and imagine the other possible scenario.



Mr. Teacher: "Oh, then do you like to exercise? Such as, swimming?"

15yo Me: "Why, yes. I like to swim. I would go swimming at least once per week (right. *eyes-rolling*)."

MT: "Who do you go swimming with?"

M: "I'll usually go with my parents." (pause to think) "We'll go to the nearby swimming complex on Saturdays."

MT: "When did you first learn to swim?"

M: "When I was in... Primary 3." (think think think weave weave weave) "Ahh... I had a private coach."

MT: "What do you like about swimming?"

M: (still weaving) "Hmmm..." (think think think) "I guess, it's the feeling of freedom and being carefree?" (think somemore) "And.. Ahh... You know, the sound of... Ahhhh... Water... Emmm... Gushing by your ears... Ahhhh... (by now undergoing a considerable amount of stress) Like a bird flying freely; ahhh... Except that... Emmm... you're in the waters? Like, you know... Flying... Underwater?"



You get what I mean? Do you see the stress?

I figured (and still do) that if I had said yes to the question, that would be the first irrevocable step into a quagmire. How is a person supposed to describe something without any personal experience with it?



I guess, from that Oral experience onwards, a general dislike for close-structured questions is planted within.



Can I swim? Really, no.