LOVE AND BATHING

The older man raised his eyebrows, and nodded subtly towards a particular direction. The younger lad followed his gaze and looked behind his shoulders. The TV screen was showing a movie preview. Love Happens.

It was night, and the night was definitely not young; and here I was, at McD.

I glanced at the movie title too, silently reading it out loud in my mind. Love happens.

Love happens? Does love just happen like that? Love is more than an emotion; it is a decision. It is not just about the heart; it involves the HEAD. Love doesn't JUST happen. It takes conscious effort on our own part.

The small, silent, momentary voice in my head was drowned out by the lad's reply. "Does it even exist?" He shrugged his shoulders carelessly, "Even if it does, it's actually more trouble than it's worth, isn't it?"

"For all that matters, is marriage even real in the first place?" The younger lad continued, "Look, if there is no such thing as 'premarital sex', or if one need not get married in order to procreate, or if society does not frown upon things of such nature, would anyone want to get married in the first place?

I doubt so; because marriage is a heavy commitment. Taking on of another's troubles and burdens. Looking out for another. Tying and bonding yourself down to only one. Giving up the entire forest for just one tree; regardless of how that tree turns out to be in years to come. There is no out, no matter how much you regret it. Troublesome; it's a risky gamble; and it's not worth it. Marriage is what people usually do out of the heat of passion, or because it's the social norm, or because of peer pressure, or because the biological clock dictates them to; rather than doing it out of so-called 'real love', rather than realizing that it's a huge, lifetime responsibility that greatly affects one's destiny.

Passion and lust have their own ways of burning itself out real quick in the blinking of an eye. Feelings - and love - usually don't last in the battle against time. Marriage is just nothing more than the physical pleasure. That's why at some point of time, marriages threaten to break down. For one, love fizzles. For two, everyone more or less get married because of a somewhat-hidden propaganda."

"What then," he concluded, "is marriage other than satisfying one's physical pleasure?

Marriage is just - simply put - nothing more than the permission to procreate; the license to lust."



The older man swallowed his mouthful of burger. "Nope," he replied, "Love is not selfish. Marriage is more than enjoying the physical pleasure. You don't get married for what you can get out of another person; you get married to complement the other person. Think of the beginning. Look at Adam and Eve."

"Then, hasn't it occurred to you before, that normally when vows or promises are made, it always stem from something which is undesirable? Like, 'I promise not to eat fast food more than 3 times per week', 'I promise not to oversleep', 'I promise not to lie' and etc." The lad continued, "Yet, there is such a thing as marriage vows when, generally, vows and promises are always towards something undesirable."

"They are...? What?" The man smiled and widen his eyes inquisitively.

"Always a result of something that is of bad or undesirable nature/outcome." The lad repeated.

"Always?" The man raised his eyebrows.

"Ok..." The lad hesitated and amended, "Most of the time."

"Think of the first promise ever made." The man prompted, "The very first promise. When God had nothing and no one to vow by, He vowed by Himself. And what does the Bible promises us? That the thoughts of God towards us are nothing but...?" His voice trailed off.

The lad blinked, and softly completed the sentence, "... Good."



My ears perked up. Normal ears recognize a good conversation when they hear one. Absentmindedly, I began to play with the straws. I've never liked carbonated drinks for all reasons possible; but it had been the first thing to pop up in the mind. Luckily I still had enough sense to order a small one.



The man continued, "Remember, this is a broken down world. We are all not perfect; but as long as the train is heading in the right direction - though temporarily crooked it may be - it will nevertheless arrive at the final destination it ought to at the end.

We are all imperfect; but, remember, always go back to the beginning; because it is the only accurate standard to measure by. Think of it this way, now, would you call a handphone, a handphone?"

The lad considered briefly. "No."

"That's right. A handphone is not really a handphone now. It's a PDA; it can access the internet, it can send emails and smses. It can play music; it's a music player. It can take pictures; it's a camera. With all ever increasing functions, a handphone is not really a handphone anymore. But, remember, go back to the beginning. What's the initial purpose of a handphone? Is it not to enable basic communication between two people at different places?"

"This is a broken down world; it has been marred. So, always go back to the beginning, because the beginning is what God had ORIGINALLY intended. It is the only accurate yardstick to measure by. Even the Bible starts with, 'In the beginning...' What does this tell us?"

"Always," he reiterated for good measure, "go back to the beginning."



The lad fell quiet. It marked the closure of the topic. I smiled. All these are revelations, certainly. Momentarily, I wondered if Alexander is here with me, sitting in and listening in to this conversation as well.



I went home later that night. I was in the shower, thinking; if love is so hard, if love hurts, if love fizzles, if love doesn't necessarily reciprocate, then why bother to in the first place?

Love is not just an emotion or a feeling; it is a decision.
If one has to make it a daily choice to decide to love, then maybe - perhaps - it's really a lot of trouble. It literally implies a sturdy perseverance to choose to love every day.

Heck, love doesn't even carry the promise to last.


I was in the shower, then I realized; you know what? Neither does bathing.








Which is why we recommend it at least once daily.