OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS

There's this thing about "occupational hazards": they more or less become a consistent habit - an integral part of you.



Sometimes, on days when there are lessons with The Class, I would cross my arms while waiting for them to quieten down. As a result, nowadays, crossing the arms - even while walking - is becoming a frequent (albeit subconscious) pose of mine.

I was baking the other day; and ALL cooks have this unhygienic ubiquitous habit of dipping their finger in and sampling their food. So, as I was saying, I was using the mixer that day. Satisfied that the cake mix had been mixed nicely and thoroughly, I stopped the mixer machine and scrapped the thick content off the mixing whisks using a scrapper. The cake mix was thick and gelatinous; slowly and sinfully dripping off the spatula in heavy chunks. Instinctively, I swiped my index finger swiftly off the surface of the spatula, and brought it to my mouth. Then, I realized as an afterthought, "SHUCKS! This cake mix is not yet cooked! With raw eggs, sour cream, chocolate cake mix, chocolate pudding powder, oil and etc! YUCKS!!! I might as well eat a dough!"



Occupational hazards.

So, anyway, I was chatting with a fellow colleague the other day who happened to be teaching English.

"Oei, English teacher," I called out to the cubicle in front of me.

"What?" His voice drifted over.

"How do you spell 'content page?' Is it spelt as 'content page' or 'contentS page'?" I asked.

"Content - without the 'S'." Came the reply.

"Ok, thanks."

"And, by the way, it is pronounced as 'CONtent'," he added, "and not 'conTENT'. Wrong emphasise."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Sorry, 啦 Cher. Apart from using 'mah', 'leh', 'lor', 'ah', and 'lah', Singaporeans also have this tendency to place the emphasise on the wrong syllabus, don't we? That's why we call it 'Singlish', isn't it?" I teased.

"Not only that. Placing the wrong emphasise results in different meanings as well. ConTENT refers to the feeling of happiness, being CONTENTED; whereas CONtent refers to the subject matter, the constitution." He continued.

"Yeah, it's the same with the word 'subject', isn't it? And different words can have different pronunciations, too, isn't it? For example, the word "bow". Bow as in "bowing down", and bow as in the 'bow of a ship', or 'bows and arrows'."

"Yeah, that's right. Very good. So, now, come on; repeat after me: 'CONtent'. On the count of three: one, two, three!"

I kicked the partition in front of me and asked him to shut up.



Can't stand talking to English teachers or English majors. They can irritate the banana out of you if they so choose to.

(update: 11th August 2009, 3.25pm) P.S. Oh yeah, and Mass Communication majors, too. Haha.