I'M THE TYPE TO...
... Drop my toothbrush while brushing teeth because it wasn't held tightly enough.
... Search high and low for the hair clips, only to - minutes later - realize that they're already on my head.
... Laugh at my own jokes; even in the midst of telling them.
... Laugh at the same joke over and over again.
... Think to myself, "You go, girl!" and then proceed to smile/wink to my own reflection in the mirror.
... Talk to Nancy (The Master's Dalmatian). Wink at the display picture of Grace in my mobile phone. Chat with my big doggie soft toys or the dolphin that shares my bed. Carry imaginary, whacky conversations with myself in my head.
... Still be laughing over something that happened days or weeks ago.
... Sing to myself randomly and quietly.
... Either that, or suddenly bursting into giggles, or suddenly smiling to myself. Even when ALONE. Yes, I'm lost in my own world.
... Deliberately keep some important things or documents in a "special" place so that I won't forget where I kept it, only to end up forgetting where this "special" place is.
... Either trip UP or DOWN the staircases. Hence, I always try to hold on to the handrail whenever possible. It has saved my life more than once.
... Know the correct order of alphabets only by singing The Alphabet Song mentally in my head. The only sections which I can recall effortlessly without help is A-B-C-D-E-F, L-M-N-O, and X-Y-Z. Brilliant.
... Be a bad prankster. Either I'll stutter obviously, have shifty eyes and difficulty looking into the other person's eyes, keep blinking, licking the lips, or end up saying something totally disconnected and random when further probed.
... Change topics when I feel uncomfortable enough. But it always end up being totally comical, because it is always anything but subtle.
... Forget dates and end up having clashes in appointment schedules.
... Think about silly and random questions like: Why do round pizzas come in square boxes? How is the coastal sea water lines determined? Do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star share the same tune and melody? Do birds do some warm up exercises before flying? Do blind man have dreams? What happens if I feed turtles some chilli padi? Are there lizards in heaven? Can I ask for a lizards radar?
... Have butterflies in the stomach, and experience strong urges of nausea in moments of importance/anxiety/nervousness/examinations.
... Totally forget about time when busy. I think He has been taking extra efforts to protect my stomach linings; something which I've been, of late, feeling guilty over because I've been taking it a tad too much for granted.
... Train the left hand to use the chopsticks or comb the hair or to write, because I heard somewhere that it's good to exercise both sides of the brain. Can prevent Alzheimer's, I think.
... Pertaining to the above 2 points, to choose noodles over rice while working/studying; simply so that I can eat and work at the same time. The left hand can handle the chopsticks, while the right hand can carry on writing/typing.
... Pertaining to the above again, at times when I do remember to eat, I forget to chew, and will "park" the food by the sides of the mouth cavity and totally forget about it. By the time I remember, it has already turned dreadfully soggy.
... Genuinely entering the Gents by mistake and still blissfully ignorant of it.
... Walk for at least 5 steps, before realizing that I'm walking in the opposite direction.
... Forget about silly, trivial things such as medications. Like, "To prevent drug-drug interactions, I'll take the next dosage another additional 15minutes later for better measurement." When 15minutes have passed, I'll end up confused. Did I take it 15minutes ago, or did I postpone it?
... When distracted, frequently throw rubbish into the laundry basket and clothes into the rubbish bin.
... Always call people by the wrong name (Hi John! I mean, Sam!).
... Walk into a wall or a pillar or someone's shoulder every now and then.
... Smile as a tactic to stall for time.
... Totally forget where my seat is after coming back from the ladies or purchasing some food. If I ever have a car, probably I'll forget where I parked it.
Monday, 2 March 2009
Thursday, 26 February 2009
TICKLES AND LAUGHTER
TICKLES AND LAUGHTER
My girl is being tickled! Her innocent laughter sounds like music!
Grace is oh-so-chummy. She likes to bounce and crawl around the bed. Sometimes, though, her arms give way and she hits face-first on the mattress. Comical. Totally comical.
Or she'll try to crawl over the bolster; which diameter is nearly is as thick as her whole body. After victoriously conquering the bolster, she'll head straight for my laps, plonk down face-first again, and play dead.
I suspect she likes it. I always stroke and massage her back lightly whenever she does it. She'll usually stay still for at least 5seconds before crawling away again; bouncing around the bed with a joyous zest for life.
My girl is being tickled! Her innocent laughter sounds like music!
Grace is oh-so-chummy. She likes to bounce and crawl around the bed. Sometimes, though, her arms give way and she hits face-first on the mattress. Comical. Totally comical.
Or she'll try to crawl over the bolster; which diameter is nearly is as thick as her whole body. After victoriously conquering the bolster, she'll head straight for my laps, plonk down face-first again, and play dead.
I suspect she likes it. I always stroke and massage her back lightly whenever she does it. She'll usually stay still for at least 5seconds before crawling away again; bouncing around the bed with a joyous zest for life.
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
BODY & AGE
BODY & AGE
I...
Make it a point to sleep at least a good, full 5 hours on at least 5 days per week.
Try to finish the bottle of water (Yes, that purple Nalgene) by the end of each day.
Totally adore veggies and fruits and herbal teas. Oddly, I feel VERY loved when people give me herbal tea! Come, come! Bring it on!
Take Osteocare to meet the minimum daily calcium dietary requirement (Osteoporosis!!! Nooo!).
Drink a cup of Milo on most days.
Like, and make an effort, to exercise at least once a week (Ok, not for now though, cos I'm supposed to refrain from doing that).
Make an effort to get out of the lift at the 6th storey, and climb the remaining storeys (I live on the 12th).
Brush an average of 3 times per day (morning, before going out, night). I'm every dentist's pet, or rather, nemesis?
Avoid harsh skincare chemicals such as exfoliator, skin scrub, skin cleanser, night-repair lotion etc; preferring to protect and keep active the body's natural line of defense. If you don't use it, you lose it.
Use light make-up such as mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, and a bit of blusher; and full make-up (read: concealer, foundation, loose powder blahblahblah. You get the idea) only on important occasions like weddings or banquets. I protect my skin and their pores!
Sun-tan once in a blue moon.
Prefer things natural and organic.
___________________________________________________________
Save for the crazy tolerance for spiciness (Chilli padi!!! Yo!), daily consumption of 2 cups of coffee, and infrequent meals, guess I'm a prettyboring healthy person.
Good.
I want to look good and healthy; as though if I'm only in my 20s when I'm well passed the 30 benchmark. Healthy. Radiant. Glowing. Happy. Bouncing. Leaping. Laughing.
Not wrinkling, or sagging, or a bag of walking keropok.
I...
Make it a point to sleep at least a good, full 5 hours on at least 5 days per week.
Try to finish the bottle of water (Yes, that purple Nalgene) by the end of each day.
Totally adore veggies and fruits and herbal teas. Oddly, I feel VERY loved when people give me herbal tea! Come, come! Bring it on!
Take Osteocare to meet the minimum daily calcium dietary requirement (Osteoporosis!!! Nooo!).
Drink a cup of Milo on most days.
Like, and make an effort, to exercise at least once a week (Ok, not for now though, cos I'm supposed to refrain from doing that).
Make an effort to get out of the lift at the 6th storey, and climb the remaining storeys (I live on the 12th).
Brush an average of 3 times per day (morning, before going out, night). I'm every dentist's pet, or rather, nemesis?
Avoid harsh skincare chemicals such as exfoliator, skin scrub, skin cleanser, night-repair lotion etc; preferring to protect and keep active the body's natural line of defense. If you don't use it, you lose it.
Use light make-up such as mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, and a bit of blusher; and full make-up (read: concealer, foundation, loose powder blahblahblah. You get the idea) only on important occasions like weddings or banquets. I protect my skin and their pores!
Sun-tan once in a blue moon.
Prefer things natural and organic.
___________________________________________________________
Save for the crazy tolerance for spiciness (Chilli padi!!! Yo!), daily consumption of 2 cups of coffee, and infrequent meals, guess I'm a pretty
Good.
I want to look good and healthy; as though if I'm only in my 20s when I'm well passed the 30 benchmark. Healthy. Radiant. Glowing. Happy. Bouncing. Leaping. Laughing.
Not wrinkling, or sagging, or a bag of walking keropok.
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
EYE DROPS
EYE DROPS
Have an appointment with the Doc later in the afternoon at 2pm! To take out the contact lens bandage!
Hope this means an end to the need of medical compliance to put the 3 different eye drops: Lubricant, Anti-inflammatory, and Antibiotic (The last 2 taste bitter!). They're such a bother! It makes going out very inconvenient!
I used to be a scaredy cat when it comes to putting on eye drops. It's really frightening, you know, seeing the droplet dangling gleefully right over your eyes, and not knowing where and when the surface tension will be overcomed by gravity, resulting in the droplet detaching from the bottle tip and hitting you squarely in the eyes. It's a very frightening and uncomfortable moment in time, to me at least.
But now, after 1 week, I think I'm now quite a pro.
How can I not? 3 types of eye drops per 3 hourly. Assuming that I am awake for 12hours per day, that makes it (4 x 3) times of putting on eye drops. Ee-yeerrr!
_____________________________________________________
Anyway, I've been making an effort to read Proverbs before going to bed at night, and Psalms in the morning (or afternoon) when I wake up.
I had thought it was good, because the chim-chim Proverbs would have the luxury of settling in through the night, and perhaps I would have a clearer understanding after a good night of sleeping and thinking. Discretion and wisdom would keep me while I sleep. And in the morning, wake up bright-eyed to Psalms of praises.
It sounds good, you know, because it has been said that students should have a good night sleep before an exam, as the brain needs to "reorganize" and "restructure" what has been learnt throughout the day. These students usually end up having a clearer head on the day of examinations, and score better. As such, I thought that it would be good, because I would wake up with a clearer, better understanding. Short. Sharp. Efficient. Shoot! And Bam!
The weird thing is: I guess it's not working so well. I wake up after a good night sleep, and can't recall what I read the previous night. Not even a good summary. Can't even recite a verse proper. Ermmm...
Time to make some adjustments or changes or enhancements. Especially before my Curriculum Studies modules kick in and I'll be practically camping in campus - which is like, starting from next week? Hmmm...
Have an appointment with the Doc later in the afternoon at 2pm! To take out the contact lens bandage!
Hope this means an end to the need of medical compliance to put the 3 different eye drops: Lubricant, Anti-inflammatory, and Antibiotic (The last 2 taste bitter!). They're such a bother! It makes going out very inconvenient!
I used to be a scaredy cat when it comes to putting on eye drops. It's really frightening, you know, seeing the droplet dangling gleefully right over your eyes, and not knowing where and when the surface tension will be overcomed by gravity, resulting in the droplet detaching from the bottle tip and hitting you squarely in the eyes. It's a very frightening and uncomfortable moment in time, to me at least.
But now, after 1 week, I think I'm now quite a pro.
How can I not? 3 types of eye drops per 3 hourly. Assuming that I am awake for 12hours per day, that makes it (4 x 3) times of putting on eye drops. Ee-yeerrr!
_____________________________________________________
Anyway, I've been making an effort to read Proverbs before going to bed at night, and Psalms in the morning (or afternoon) when I wake up.
I had thought it was good, because the chim-chim Proverbs would have the luxury of settling in through the night, and perhaps I would have a clearer understanding after a good night of sleeping and thinking. Discretion and wisdom would keep me while I sleep. And in the morning, wake up bright-eyed to Psalms of praises.
It sounds good, you know, because it has been said that students should have a good night sleep before an exam, as the brain needs to "reorganize" and "restructure" what has been learnt throughout the day. These students usually end up having a clearer head on the day of examinations, and score better. As such, I thought that it would be good, because I would wake up with a clearer, better understanding. Short. Sharp. Efficient. Shoot! And Bam!
The weird thing is: I guess it's not working so well. I wake up after a good night sleep, and can't recall what I read the previous night. Not even a good summary. Can't even recite a verse proper. Ermmm...
Time to make some adjustments or changes or enhancements. Especially before my Curriculum Studies modules kick in and I'll be practically camping in campus - which is like, starting from next week? Hmmm...
Monday, 23 February 2009
DISCONNECTED BUT RESTED
DISCONNECTED BUT RESTED
For this couple of weeks, I'm supposed to:
Put 3 different eyedrops per 15minutes interval per 3hours.
Avoid rubbing or touching the eyes area.
Sterile wipe the eyes area twice a day.
Take care while bathing or washing face; not to let water enter the eyes.
Avoid sunlight and UV rays; to prevent wound scarring.
No running (this is so hard because I'll have to refrain from chasing after the bus or train. Grrr!) and exercising. No gym for at least 2 weeks. No lifting of weights, especially (Hey, you! Carry my bag for me!).
No contact sports or swimming for 2 weeks at least (big deal. I can't swim).
No eye makeup for at least a week.
And because the eyes have not fully recovered yet, at times, even TV is a bit glaring. For small prints and near objects, I have to strain to see. This means no TV, no reading, no surfing, no blogging, no facebook-ing, not being able to do school assignments, no anything, for the initial days after the operation.
Thus, since last Tuesday, the only thing which I've been doing consistently is to sleep, sleep, and more sleep. There's only so much of TV a person can take. And I can't read the small prints on books and newspapers. So I just sleep.
At least for the past few days, it's getting better. The light sensitivity is improving bit by bit, although at times when using the computer, I still put on sunglasses to shield off the glaring light after more than 15minutes of use. And at least I can still blog and come online, although I have to set the Firefox to zoom in at least twice, just to ease the strain. The only bad thing is, I still have trouble focusing on near objects and small prints. So, I can't do the school assignments and read the papers. I feel so cut off from the world! But, hey, at least it's getting better each day! These days, another reason for the sunglasses is to prevent dirt or dust particles from entering the eyes.
Before the op, I've been dutifully getting approximately 7hours of sleep per day. At least 5 days in a week, I'll manage to clock in at least 6 hours of good sleep no matter how busy. For this week alone though, as there's nothing better to do because of the eyes condition, I've been sleeping about... What? At least 10hours per day? Hohoho!
I'M THOROUGHLY RESTED, I TELL YOU!!!
Impartation session later! Hoho! I hope it'll be fine. I have a bit of trouble reading the chords. G looks like C. G also looks like D. D looks like B. B looks like E. E looks like G too. You get the idea! Hoho!
For this couple of weeks, I'm supposed to:
Put 3 different eyedrops per 15minutes interval per 3hours.
Avoid rubbing or touching the eyes area.
Sterile wipe the eyes area twice a day.
Take care while bathing or washing face; not to let water enter the eyes.
Avoid sunlight and UV rays; to prevent wound scarring.
No running (this is so hard because I'll have to refrain from chasing after the bus or train. Grrr!) and exercising. No gym for at least 2 weeks. No lifting of weights, especially (Hey, you! Carry my bag for me!).
No contact sports or swimming for 2 weeks at least (big deal. I can't swim).
No eye makeup for at least a week.
And because the eyes have not fully recovered yet, at times, even TV is a bit glaring. For small prints and near objects, I have to strain to see. This means no TV, no reading, no surfing, no blogging, no facebook-ing, not being able to do school assignments, no anything, for the initial days after the operation.
Thus, since last Tuesday, the only thing which I've been doing consistently is to sleep, sleep, and more sleep. There's only so much of TV a person can take. And I can't read the small prints on books and newspapers. So I just sleep.
At least for the past few days, it's getting better. The light sensitivity is improving bit by bit, although at times when using the computer, I still put on sunglasses to shield off the glaring light after more than 15minutes of use. And at least I can still blog and come online, although I have to set the Firefox to zoom in at least twice, just to ease the strain. The only bad thing is, I still have trouble focusing on near objects and small prints. So, I can't do the school assignments and read the papers. I feel so cut off from the world! But, hey, at least it's getting better each day! These days, another reason for the sunglasses is to prevent dirt or dust particles from entering the eyes.
Before the op, I've been dutifully getting approximately 7hours of sleep per day. At least 5 days in a week, I'll manage to clock in at least 6 hours of good sleep no matter how busy. For this week alone though, as there's nothing better to do because of the eyes condition, I've been sleeping about... What? At least 10hours per day? Hohoho!
I'M THOROUGHLY RESTED, I TELL YOU!!!
Impartation session later! Hoho! I hope it'll be fine. I have a bit of trouble reading the chords. G looks like C. G also looks like D. D looks like B. B looks like E. E looks like G too. You get the idea! Hoho!
Sunday, 22 February 2009
THE DAY I FOUGHT... WITH THE WASHROOM
THE DAY I FOUGHT... WITH THE WASHROOM
Every other days, we learn new things. Things we've never known before. About circumstances. About life. About the people around us. About ourselves, even.
Tuesday the 17th was the day of the operation (Oh yeah, I've not mentioned: I had LASIK!). That morning, because I reached early, I dropped by the neighbouring mall to whale my time away. Dropped by Watson to purchase some hair conditioner, and then to an accessories shop for some, of course, accessories.
Nature called, and I went in search of the ladies. Following the ubiquitous signage, I turned right and found myself right outside the entrance of the toilet. The only deviant is a small counter at the entrance of the toilet - manned by an auntie - with a big sign stating "20cents per entry".
I have a habit of walking fast. Catching sight of the counter, I abruptly jolted to a stop. Is this for real? This is ORCHARD area, for goodness sake! I gave the counter a once-over, as though I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing. The auntie looked up, and made the verbatim request. I looked back at her, smiled and - without even so much as a fleeting thought - immediately replied with a firm "No, thanks.". Before I knew it, my legs were already walking in the opposite direction.
Even I myself was astounded by the quick, steadfast decision. Normally, my modus operandi is to try to consider from all perspectives, weigh the pros and cons, calculate the consequences, think somemore, think again, think once more, then come to a conclusion, and finally a decision. But, this time round, I didn't even stop to think. It was, like, something automatic. 20cents? No, thanks, and bye! Pronto!
I was amazed, and puzzled, by the immediate reaction. After all, it's only 20cents. Chances are, it wouldn't even be enough to buy an ice-cream cone.
On deeper thoughts, I finally concluded that the main reason behind my actions hinges on this one thing: Be it 20cents or 2cents, it just doesn't make sense to pay; there is no reason to. I've been to finer toilets where I am supplied with - instead of the usual tissues - clean, white, cotton, hand towels. Not only that, the kind auntie manning the toilet even offered and helped me to some hand moisturizers, despite my repeated rejections. And at the end of the day? I was in cloud nine because the hand moisturizer smells of lavender! And that toilet visit didn't cost me anything. I was so thoroughly humbled by the true, unconditional service.
However, on that day, faced with the 20cents charge, something in me roused and fiercely refused to bend or give in. It is not justified having to pay to visit the toilet. And this is ORCHARD, for goodness sake! The last when I was required to pay to visit the toilet was when I went to some neighbouring country! But here, smack in the heartland of good old Singapore - the bustling city of Singapore - it just doesn't fit in. Something just don't click.
Just there and then, I realized that it has absolutely nothing to do with the money. It is no longer about money, but about... Principles? It sounds silly - even to me now - to bother so much over a simple toilet, but somehow, I absolutely refused to yield or to bow down to the rules - regardless whether is it a dollar, 10cents, or 1cents. This is just a normal toilet. You're not giving me clean towels or hand moisturizers. This is Orchard. There are plenty of malls and washrooms around. I don't need to climb a mountain to find another toilet. The nearest one is just in the mall next door.
The crux of the matter is: What sets this toilet apart, and what is so special about this toilet, that I have to pay to use it?
Even if it means having to go the extra mile and walk to the next neighbouring mall for a washroom, I have no qualms doing so. And this is exactly what I did.
That day, I finally learnt something new about myself. You know how it is, people give passing comments or remarks about you, but you won't really believe it unless you've experienced it yourself. Stubborn? I always - and prefer - to think of it as perserverance and determination. But now that it has reduced to a state of struggling over the use of a washroom, it's a tad of a wakeup call.
Until now, I have no idea whether is it a good or bad thing. I guess it's good in the way that I have a clear sense of my own values and principles, and refuse to blindly yield or back down or bow down to things just because everyone else is - without reasons - doing so. Ignoring personal costs, I would try to get things done without compromising. At least, one of the things to rejoice over, I think, is that I am clear of my own stand and unflinchingly stand by it in the face of obstacles. And it's good; because it's important to have a voice of one's own. The very thing I hate is a person - regardless of gender - having a casual and "whatever" attitude; with no clear stand or a mind of his/her own. This is mediocre, wavering, indecisive, and having no clear directions or goals in life. But, I guess, one of the more obvious downsides to this is that I can get too focused and fiercely single-minded. Or being so determinedly "fixed", rigid, and "stick to the guns" that I resist the occasional need to "bend", and settle for something else.
I guess, at the end of the day, it's all still about balance. Opinionated. Determined. Single-mindedness. Big picture. Unwavering. Unflinching. Undeterred. But, above all else, be flexible. Not blindly and flippantly flexible to the extent of indecisiveness and losing focus; but being flexible without compromising on other more important areas. Balance, balance. It's all still about balance at the end of the day.
I certainly have loads more things to learn.
Life is a journey. Of learning. Of betterment.
Me? Everyday is a fresh, brand new day. Everyday, I'm starting - or at least, try to. Putting aside the destructive personal pride. Progressing. Moving forward. Tailoring. Changing. Listening. Observing. Learning from the immediate surroundings. Learning from everywhere possible. Learning. Everyday, I hope.
Every other days, we learn new things. Things we've never known before. About circumstances. About life. About the people around us. About ourselves, even.
Tuesday the 17th was the day of the operation (Oh yeah, I've not mentioned: I had LASIK!). That morning, because I reached early, I dropped by the neighbouring mall to whale my time away. Dropped by Watson to purchase some hair conditioner, and then to an accessories shop for some, of course, accessories.
Nature called, and I went in search of the ladies. Following the ubiquitous signage, I turned right and found myself right outside the entrance of the toilet. The only deviant is a small counter at the entrance of the toilet - manned by an auntie - with a big sign stating "20cents per entry".
I have a habit of walking fast. Catching sight of the counter, I abruptly jolted to a stop. Is this for real? This is ORCHARD area, for goodness sake! I gave the counter a once-over, as though I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing. The auntie looked up, and made the verbatim request. I looked back at her, smiled and - without even so much as a fleeting thought - immediately replied with a firm "No, thanks.". Before I knew it, my legs were already walking in the opposite direction.
Even I myself was astounded by the quick, steadfast decision. Normally, my modus operandi is to try to consider from all perspectives, weigh the pros and cons, calculate the consequences, think somemore, think again, think once more, then come to a conclusion, and finally a decision. But, this time round, I didn't even stop to think. It was, like, something automatic. 20cents? No, thanks, and bye! Pronto!
I was amazed, and puzzled, by the immediate reaction. After all, it's only 20cents. Chances are, it wouldn't even be enough to buy an ice-cream cone.
On deeper thoughts, I finally concluded that the main reason behind my actions hinges on this one thing: Be it 20cents or 2cents, it just doesn't make sense to pay; there is no reason to. I've been to finer toilets where I am supplied with - instead of the usual tissues - clean, white, cotton, hand towels. Not only that, the kind auntie manning the toilet even offered and helped me to some hand moisturizers, despite my repeated rejections. And at the end of the day? I was in cloud nine because the hand moisturizer smells of lavender! And that toilet visit didn't cost me anything. I was so thoroughly humbled by the true, unconditional service.
However, on that day, faced with the 20cents charge, something in me roused and fiercely refused to bend or give in. It is not justified having to pay to visit the toilet. And this is ORCHARD, for goodness sake! The last when I was required to pay to visit the toilet was when I went to some neighbouring country! But here, smack in the heartland of good old Singapore - the bustling city of Singapore - it just doesn't fit in. Something just don't click.
Just there and then, I realized that it has absolutely nothing to do with the money. It is no longer about money, but about... Principles? It sounds silly - even to me now - to bother so much over a simple toilet, but somehow, I absolutely refused to yield or to bow down to the rules - regardless whether is it a dollar, 10cents, or 1cents. This is just a normal toilet. You're not giving me clean towels or hand moisturizers. This is Orchard. There are plenty of malls and washrooms around. I don't need to climb a mountain to find another toilet. The nearest one is just in the mall next door.
The crux of the matter is: What sets this toilet apart, and what is so special about this toilet, that I have to pay to use it?
Even if it means having to go the extra mile and walk to the next neighbouring mall for a washroom, I have no qualms doing so. And this is exactly what I did.
That day, I finally learnt something new about myself. You know how it is, people give passing comments or remarks about you, but you won't really believe it unless you've experienced it yourself. Stubborn? I always - and prefer - to think of it as perserverance and determination. But now that it has reduced to a state of struggling over the use of a washroom, it's a tad of a wakeup call.
Until now, I have no idea whether is it a good or bad thing. I guess it's good in the way that I have a clear sense of my own values and principles, and refuse to blindly yield or back down or bow down to things just because everyone else is - without reasons - doing so. Ignoring personal costs, I would try to get things done without compromising. At least, one of the things to rejoice over, I think, is that I am clear of my own stand and unflinchingly stand by it in the face of obstacles. And it's good; because it's important to have a voice of one's own. The very thing I hate is a person - regardless of gender - having a casual and "whatever" attitude; with no clear stand or a mind of his/her own. This is mediocre, wavering, indecisive, and having no clear directions or goals in life. But, I guess, one of the more obvious downsides to this is that I can get too focused and fiercely single-minded. Or being so determinedly "fixed", rigid, and "stick to the guns" that I resist the occasional need to "bend", and settle for something else.
I guess, at the end of the day, it's all still about balance. Opinionated. Determined. Single-mindedness. Big picture. Unwavering. Unflinching. Undeterred. But, above all else, be flexible. Not blindly and flippantly flexible to the extent of indecisiveness and losing focus; but being flexible without compromising on other more important areas. Balance, balance. It's all still about balance at the end of the day.
I certainly have loads more things to learn.
Life is a journey. Of learning. Of betterment.
Me? Everyday is a fresh, brand new day. Everyday, I'm starting - or at least, try to. Putting aside the destructive personal pride. Progressing. Moving forward. Tailoring. Changing. Listening. Observing. Learning from the immediate surroundings. Learning from everywhere possible. Learning. Everyday, I hope.
Saturday, 21 February 2009
FAVOURITES
FAVOURITES
Just yesterday night, on Thursday, without prompting, Grace lied down and rested her head on my laps idyllically while drinking her milk.
It's a common trap, an universal pitfall, to have favourites. Of course, indubitably, there are instances when I question myself whether am I unknowingly practicing favouritism. I checked my heart. Hence, whenever Serene's around, I would make a conscious attempt to give her as much attention and affection as I do to Grace. When I'm patting Grace's head, I make it a point to stroke Serene's cheeks as well.
Just because Serene - being older - is not as "cute" as her younger sister does not mean that she deserves less affection.
Just because Serene does not take the initiative and come up to me asking to be carried or hugged, it doesn't mean that she needs less love.
Just because Serene does not kiss me on the cheeks doesn't mean that she needs less attention.
On the contrary, all the things that she does to mimic her younger sister seem to me to be a call for attention, a cry for affection. Dad and Mum always says that by obliging her, I'm only encouraging her to be more "yang or". But I beg to differ. If anything, this is to let Serene know that she does not need to be anybody in order to be loved. There's no need to mimic her sister's baby-talking, Neither is there a need to bully her sister. She is fine - and loved - the way she is. There's perfectly no need to be anybody else.
I think, it is really sad if one has to "pretend" and be an aberration from the usual self in order to get some love and affection and concern. I don't know, but if I ever hear anyone saying things like, "Oh... You know, actually A and B matters to me equally. It's not that I treat them differently, it's just the way that I show love and relate to each of them that's different!"; chances are, I'll be bold enough to shoot back, "You know, you sound pathologically schizophrenic.". That's the truth. Don't lie. At the end of the day, it actually all boils down to how much a person matters and how much love and concern another person has for him/her. There's only one way to show love; and that's to do it expressively. Tough love? Silent love? Please save it for yourself.
And I totally snort when I hear people saying things the likes of, "You know, that period of time when you were going through the rough patch, it might appear on the surface that I was hardly bothered or concerned. The matter of the fact is: I've been watching from behind, to see how you overcome and tackle it. I've been watching you, and waiting for you." How helpful.
You know what, can I say it's all excuses to my ears? It's very simple and clear-cut: it's either you're there, or you're not. If someone matters enough, surely no one would be contented by simply sitting on the sideline and watch; without actively participating or helping. Rather than glossing it over, I think I would have much more respect if one would just admit and acknowledge the truth. That you're busy. That you're up to the neck at that moment. Or even that I'm probably not high on your priority list. Disappointed, maybe; but I won't even get angry - so long as I hear the truth and not some lousy excuses. I think, if and when I am ever at my weak moments, what I need - and would appreciate - is some company and encouraging words; a hand to pull me up. The last I need is a stalker. And a silent one at that.
It's the same with the 2 girls at home. Even though I hang out more and spend more time with Grace, I try not to neglect Serene as well. If one has to be someone else in order to receive love, I totally despise that love, and I despise the person giving that kind of love. I know for sure, if I have to pretend to be someone else in order to receive concern, I would deadly rather not. Favouritism is a really bad practice. Certainly, no one likes to be on the receiving end of the shorter stick. All the more for kids. They may be as different as day and night, but I'll still try to love them all the same; in the same way.
Just yesterday night, on Thursday, without prompting, Grace lied down and rested her head on my laps idyllically while drinking her milk.
It's a common trap, an universal pitfall, to have favourites. Of course, indubitably, there are instances when I question myself whether am I unknowingly practicing favouritism. I checked my heart. Hence, whenever Serene's around, I would make a conscious attempt to give her as much attention and affection as I do to Grace. When I'm patting Grace's head, I make it a point to stroke Serene's cheeks as well.
Just because Serene - being older - is not as "cute" as her younger sister does not mean that she deserves less affection.
Just because Serene does not take the initiative and come up to me asking to be carried or hugged, it doesn't mean that she needs less love.
Just because Serene does not kiss me on the cheeks doesn't mean that she needs less attention.
On the contrary, all the things that she does to mimic her younger sister seem to me to be a call for attention, a cry for affection. Dad and Mum always says that by obliging her, I'm only encouraging her to be more "yang or". But I beg to differ. If anything, this is to let Serene know that she does not need to be anybody in order to be loved. There's no need to mimic her sister's baby-talking, Neither is there a need to bully her sister. She is fine - and loved - the way she is. There's perfectly no need to be anybody else.
I think, it is really sad if one has to "pretend" and be an aberration from the usual self in order to get some love and affection and concern. I don't know, but if I ever hear anyone saying things like, "Oh... You know, actually A and B matters to me equally. It's not that I treat them differently, it's just the way that I show love and relate to each of them that's different!"; chances are, I'll be bold enough to shoot back, "You know, you sound pathologically schizophrenic.". That's the truth. Don't lie. At the end of the day, it actually all boils down to how much a person matters and how much love and concern another person has for him/her. There's only one way to show love; and that's to do it expressively. Tough love? Silent love? Please save it for yourself.
And I totally snort when I hear people saying things the likes of, "You know, that period of time when you were going through the rough patch, it might appear on the surface that I was hardly bothered or concerned. The matter of the fact is: I've been watching from behind, to see how you overcome and tackle it. I've been watching you, and waiting for you." How helpful.
You know what, can I say it's all excuses to my ears? It's very simple and clear-cut: it's either you're there, or you're not. If someone matters enough, surely no one would be contented by simply sitting on the sideline and watch; without actively participating or helping. Rather than glossing it over, I think I would have much more respect if one would just admit and acknowledge the truth. That you're busy. That you're up to the neck at that moment. Or even that I'm probably not high on your priority list. Disappointed, maybe; but I won't even get angry - so long as I hear the truth and not some lousy excuses. I think, if and when I am ever at my weak moments, what I need - and would appreciate - is some company and encouraging words; a hand to pull me up. The last I need is a stalker. And a silent one at that.
It's the same with the 2 girls at home. Even though I hang out more and spend more time with Grace, I try not to neglect Serene as well. If one has to be someone else in order to receive love, I totally despise that love, and I despise the person giving that kind of love. I know for sure, if I have to pretend to be someone else in order to receive concern, I would deadly rather not. Favouritism is a really bad practice. Certainly, no one likes to be on the receiving end of the shorter stick. All the more for kids. They may be as different as day and night, but I'll still try to love them all the same; in the same way.
Monday, 16 February 2009
TIMES HAVE CHANGED
TIMES HAVE CHANGED
There are 2 assignments to be handed in this week, and I'm now taking a short break in the midst of doing one of them. Can I say, this is boring? All the things about motivation, self-efficacy, attribution theory, locus of control, and whatnots. It's so dry that I'm shriveling up.
The other assignment is about IT. Oh my, has things really changed so much; so drastically? What happened to the good, old OHP machines?! Where has all the time gone?! Seriously! Or am I just getting old and losing touch? Heh!
There are 2 assignments to be handed in this week, and I'm now taking a short break in the midst of doing one of them. Can I say, this is boring? All the things about motivation, self-efficacy, attribution theory, locus of control, and whatnots. It's so dry that I'm shriveling up.
The other assignment is about IT. Oh my, has things really changed so much; so drastically? What happened to the good, old OHP machines?! Where has all the time gone?! Seriously! Or am I just getting old and losing touch? Heh!
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