HELLO FLABBY MONSTER. BYE BYE ZZZ MONSTER - PART II


Genes and Society Term Test tomorrow at 1030am at MPSH1.

Social Work report to be sent by tomorrow night. 400 - 600 words; and I haven't decently started on it yet.

2 Analytical Chemistry Laboratory Reports due on this coming Wednesday, 10th of October.

16th October, 2 Inorganic Chemistry Laboratory Reports due. TO BE HANDWRITTEN.
The rest as follows.


OH MY TIAN.


It's been weeks since I've had a nice, long, undisturbed sleep; free of guilt and burden because of uncompleted school work, and free of a heavy heart, and a buzzing mind.

HELLO FLABBY MONSTER. BYE BYE ZZZ MONSTER.


Somehow, I realized that the flabby monster has successfully sneaked up, and entered, into my life for the past year.

OH MY GOSH.

Time to watch what I pop into my mouth, especially when I'm in Rubbish Bin mode.


Anyway, there's a Physical Chemistry to sit for tomorrow. AND a Genes and Society Term Test on Saturday.
There's loads of work cut out for tonight, and tomorrow night.

BYE BYE, SLEEP.


Ta!

NOW, WHO IS THIS???


NLB is funny, surely it is.

Got home from church last night, and there, laying on my desk, is a letter addressed to me. Of course, it's from the NLB.

I tore off the edges, and flipped open the letter to reveal the contents.

Turns out that NLB is "chasing" me for an incurred debt of 45cents for overdue loans. Gosh, that's nearly 1 year ago, when I dropped by the NLB at Compass Point to loan some books before going to Poh Lin's place.

*giggles* I think the cost price of the paper, printing ink, manpower cost and etc way exceeds 45cent liao lor. *guffaws*


And, to make things even funnier, they addressed the letter to me by my old name; before my parents had a deed poll done and christened me this current name.


Gosh, no one in living memory has ever addressed me as Ms. Li Jun.



Feels weird; this almost feel like a stranger.

Who is she???

BUSY


Finally, mid-semester term break is coming next week. But, as always, term breaks are ANYTHING BUT break. I have enough school work on hand to last me till next Easter. All of a sudden, how I miss primary and secondary school.

24th - 30th September: Term break

24th September (Monday): Group discussion to complete Social Work module report
2nd October (Tuesday): Inorganic Test 2
3rd October (Wednesday): Physical Laboratory Report due
5th October (Friday): Physical Chemistry Test 2
06th October (Saturday): Genes and Society Combined Term Test

1 week Term Break to rest and recharge? My foot!



And that's not all... ... ...

16th October (Friday): 2 Inorganic Laboratory Reports due. HANDWRITTEN (!!!)
21st October (Sunday): Analytical Chemistry Reflective writing due
23rd October (Tuesday): Inorganic Test 3
26th October (Friday): Social Work module written test
1st November (Thursday): Analytical Chemistry Term test 2
2nd November (Friday): Genes and Society Essay assignment due
14th November (Tuesday): Inorganic Test 4


And all these are just a brief outline. I've not even included the weekly tutorials for each module, as well as the remaining 5 weekly laboratory sessions --- all of which will only ends on week 12. And now is only week 6.


I smell blood. I suspect a murder conspiracy. They're trying to kill us.

FOOD, OH GLORIOUS FOOD.


The only times I totally pig out and indulge myself fully and wholeheartedly in gastronomical delights are when 1) I'm super-stressed with school work --- which is an extremely common phenomenon especially in the face of final-year examinations, or 2) my aunt is visiting soon.


For this week, surprisingly, I have been taking my lunch meals faithfully and religiously and compulsively. Supper, of late, is my best friend. The craving for food; just to eat something, anything, is simply irresistable.
And this is coming from someone who skips her daily breakfast in favour of getting more beauty sleep, usually drinks a packet of Soy Bean or Milo or have a doughnut or a stick of spring roll for lunch in school; and her typical only proper meal for the entire day is only home-cooked dinner at 10pm plus --- the usual time she gets home from school or CGM or BS.


For these past few days, The Frontier canteen has suddenly become my favourite hangout; and Western Food, Chicken Chop, Chicken Cutlet, Char Siew Rice, and Dumplings Noodles are my constant companions.

I'm on "Rubbish Bin mode". Full gear.












Indeed, after ending a Physical Chemistry tutorial at 11am yesterday morning, The Rubbish Bin dropped by the canteen and eagerly and ravenously devoured had her lunch --- the ever so tender and succulent Char Siew Rice. Her next lesson, which is a 2hours-long Inorganic Chemistry tutorial, will only start at 2pm. This left The Rubbish Bin with 3 hours of break; which she spent fruitfully by trying to complete the Inorg tutorial worksheet with Meng Yong.

It was a mind-blowing, scream-worthy, and brain-numbing 2hours-plus session of trying to tackle the out-of-the-world tutorial questions. Our brain juices nearly evapourated to nothingness. But heck, I --- The Rubbish Bin --- gotta admit: throughout the horrible 2 hours of sheer torture, occasional thoughts of having a 2nd lunch before heading for Inorganic Chemistry tutorial kept flirting with me. Hmmm... ... ... The Chicken Cutlet tastes absolutely divine as I remember it. I just had it last Friday. Crispy. Crunchy. Tasty. And the portion, I recall, is perniciously gargantuan. So evil. So tempting. Speechless.


Considering all the food that I've been gorging and stuffing my stomach with for these past few days, this is sinful. Really. TOTALLY SINFUL.



And in case you're wondering, no, I didn't give in to my craving and did not have a 2nd meal for lunch yesterday.
Thank goodness.


But I did purchase 2 packets of prawn crackers on my way home, though.

NOW THAT IT'S OVER


Finally, it's over and done with.
Personally, I don't see what's the big hype about being 21. I don't see why 21 should be special.

It's just so labour-intensive and cost-incurring to organize birthday bash.
And, after all, age is just a number. I'm still the same as who I was yesterday, the day before, and even the weeks before.
It's not as though my IQ has tripled overnight, or I've suddenly gained the wisdom of Solomon; though I won't say no to it. Heh. And while we're at it, I won't mind having the beauty of Ruth, too. And yes, a heart of David's, too.


Anyway, here it is:

Isn't this beautiful?

And it's made by Cherissa.
It's seriously got to be one of the sweetest hand-made cards I've ever seen, much less received.

Really, I salute birthday coordinators. It's not just about spending time and taking the effort. Creativity is also a must-have. And I bet it's never easy thinking up a different one for each and every birthday.

If I were the coordinator, chances are I would just pluck one of the commercially-made cards off the shelves and ring them up at the counter. Because already, thanks to schoolwork, I'm clocking in about 2 - 4hours of sleep for most weekdays; since I have to get out of bed at 5.30am in order to catch my 8am lectures. And also, because my arts and craft totally sucks. Handicraft skill, to me, is almost non-existent.

Not everyone is talented. Heh.


And not forgetting the wonderful present... ... ...

A CHILD CALLED "IT"!!! !!! !!!
BY DAVE PELZER!!!

The very book which I have been eying on and drooling after for months and months and months!!!

OH GOSH!!!
I nearly shriek out loud when I finally laid eyes on the book, after shredding off endless layers and layers and layers and layers of newspaper wrapping before --- at long last --- revealing the present buried deep within.
Thanks ah.


Anyway, on Sunday, my family went out for lunch at this wonderful restaurant at Harbourfront. Older brother booked a table for five beforehand. The food is really excellent; and the shrimps are totally fresh, succulent, and crunchy. Totally divine. AND the best of all: The price is reasonable; despite being weekend. I won't mind going back there, definitely.
And it's kind of rare that an eating outlet would rub on me this positively; because my typical non-committal response when asked how does the food taste, is: "Ok lor".
I'm hardly fussy regarding food. And by the same standard of measurement, hardly any food would evoke praises from me too; with the exception of Crispy Coffee Buns and Tiong Bahru Chwee Kueh.



Back to the book.

"As a child, Dave Pelzer was brutally beaten and starved by his emotionally unstable alcoholic mother, a mother who played tortuous, unpredictable games that left one of her sons nearly dead. She no longer considered him a son, but a slave; no longer a boy, but an "it". His bed was an old army cot in the basement, his clothes were torn and smelly, and, when he was allowed the luxury of food it was scraps from the dogs' bowl. The outside world knew nothing of the nightmare played out behind closed doors.

Dave dreamed of finding a family to love and call him their son. It took years of struggle, deprivation and despair to find his dream and make something of himself in the world. A Child Called "It" covers the early yeas of his life and is an affecting and inspirational memoir of one child's determination to survive."

Anyway, A Child Called "It" is just the first part of a 3-volume book series; covering mainly Dave's childhood. The other remaining 2 books are called The Lost Boy, and A Man Named Dave, respectively.


After reading the introduction, you've got to admit that it's a nice book, isn't it?
I've always preferred self-help books and non-fictional books to fictional ones.


And If you wanna borrow... ... ...









Beg me loh.








I might consider.
If, and only if, I'm in a good mood.






Haha. Joking.

BLISSFUL IGNORANCE


Now it seems so real. I've never thought that standing in front of a class and using a whiteboard to teach would come this early.

Received an SMS on Wednesday from Daniel Chye, inquiring whether would I be available to take a 2hours tuition class for him this Saturday in the afternoon. JC1. Chemistry. The per-hour pay rate is definitely attractive, I would say. And it will only take up 2hours of my time.
I pondered for a moment, and didn't take long to agree. I have nothing to lose and all to gain, anyway.

I had initially thought it would be a typical one-to-one, home tuition session. But, of course, it soon became apparent that I'm very much mistaken when Daniel mentioned that he has to meet me up today to pass me some teaching material, as well as send me some email attachment to print out for the students (note the pural tense).

I was shocked. It is not a home tuition as I had initially thought it to be. Suddenly, my self-confidence came crumbling down with a speed faster than a diarrhoea-induced expulsion of digested waste, and my ego deflated like a balloon pricked with a needle.

One JC1 student on a one-to-one tuition, that I think I can pull off. But teaching a class of JC students? This is absolutely something different. To make things worse, I took Physics and Biology back in Secondary school, and I'm only a TP graduate currently armed with a Diploma in Biomedical Science, and not Chemical Engineering or Chemical Processing and such.

As you can clearly see, the discipline Chemistry and yours truly are THE perfect strangers; that is, until I ended up majoring in Chemistry last year. And yes, it's a big and crazy leap. There are countless times I itch dearly to set fire to my lecture notes and reference books and see them up in smoke.
And don't ask that question which I know you're dying to ask. I've asked myself that a million times. This is academic suicide. Why on earth am I studying Chemistry at varsity level when I have not even the slightest background on it.

Hastily, I sent back an SMS.

"Wah. Tuition centre ah? So that means teach class? JC I'm not so confident of taking. How tough is JC1 chem? Learn what one?"

Yes. I'm a bit sua ku. Applied for JC for the 1st 3months, and ended up skipping 99.9999% of the classes during my temporal days in NYJC. So, I have absolutely no idea what are the contents of a junior college education, and what's the level of difficulty.

"Haha. Only 3 students. Dun worry, it's not a big group. This Sat is teach them chemical equilibrium. On Le Chatelier's Principle and stuff."

3 students. And I'm armed with teaching materials. At least this makes things simpler. And Le Chatelier's Principle, Equilibrium Constant and etc are fairly chicken feed. Really. It was taught even way back when I was in Poly Year 1, when we had to take Principles of Inorganic and Physical Chemistry (PIPC) as one of our core modules (Don't ask. I never managed to figure out what on earth do Inorganic Chemistry and Physical Chemistry have to do with Biomedical Science). And, thank goodness, it was also covered during my first year in university.

I may not be a Chemistry prodigy, but well, I figured this topic on Chemical Equilibrium would not knock me off my dainty feet and give me a brain concussion. I've read through the teaching material and really, it's just like a recap of what's been taught in poly and uni1. In fact, I'm quite surprised. I thought simple stuffs such as Le Chatelier's Principle are taught in Secondary school.
Anyway, I'm fairly confident that I have a sound knowledge of the topic, and will not end up teaching a doctrine of my own. Afterall, Hydrogen is the heaviest element in the Periodic Table. No?

So I ended up taking the challenge. Besides, it's only 2 hours of lesson. And I'll teach to the best of my knowledge. Their lives would not be utterly and irrevocably destroyed in the span of that 2hours.

Had wanted to ask Daniel which JC are they from. But decided not to in the end. Because if it turns out that they're from RJC or NJC or HCJC and etc, I might lose sleep every night until Saturday arrives.

Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.
Heh!

POWERLESS IN SOME ASPECTS OF LIFE


"And, oh ya," My friend concluded, wrapping up her summarization on the whereabouts and going-ons of our old secondary schoolmates, " X's dead."

"Sorry?"

We were at the hawker on Thursday night near Heartland Mall at Kovan, dining on Western food. I was about to deposit a small piece of fried fish into my mouth when the fork froze in midair. I had heard the last part, but as the environment of hawker center is not the most ideal of all places to hold a pristine-clear-audio conversation, I chose to give it the benefit of the doubt.

"X". She repeated. "You know who she was, right? The girl from one of the N.A. classes? A bit ah-lian-ish."

I nodded.

"Ya. She died."

I chewed on my food thoughtfully for a moment. "What happened? When did it occur?" I asked.

"She went clubbing late one night and in a drunken stupor, fell down a flight of stairs. On her way home, I think. And passed away. It has been about more than a year ago."

I swallowed my food. In an instant, the dark and ugly images of death, wooden coffin, funeral, ashes, and teary faces flashed through my mind in lightning speed before I could block them out mentally. X and I had never been acquainted personally, had never so much as exchanged "Hi" or "Bye" before, and we only know each other by appearance. We did not have any common cliques of friends, and were only schoolmates; not classmates or even CCA-mates. But, as always, hearing such news --- especially those concerning a demise --- never fail to make one's stomach lurch abruptly.

Friends and acquaintances all start from the exact same spot, the same origin, the same starting point. Primary school. Secondary school. Junior college. Polytechnic. CCA. Whatever. And now, everyone is walking their own walk of life; embarking on their own journey; and entering into new and different chapters of life. Traveling the road that is predestined, and to a certain extent, which they had decided for themselves.

All of the guys are now in NS, pining dearly for the ORD that, in their opinion, seems like eons away. As for the girls, some of them are studying in local universities. Some graduated from polytechnic and are already working; while some are about to graduate. Some had completed junior college and gone overboard for varsity education. Some quit junior college and went to polytechnic. Some had completed their ITE courses and are now in polytechnics, while some simply and completely dropped out of school. One good friend had an abortion the following year after completing our 'O's level, while two secondary school friends are married --- one of whom already has a 2-months old daughter. And yes, one schoolmate has been dead since last year.


Yes, life is really unpredictable.


Each person has an individualized journey in life. And at whichever point where different entities converge together for whatever particular reason(s), these transient friendships and acquaintanceships are only once; and maybe never again.

I wonder, if X had known that night of clubbing would rob her of her young life, would she have quit the nightlife and settled down nicely and quietly?




It seems that with the advancement of age, one becomes increasingly aware of one's own limitations; that there's only this much that one can do. And this applies not only to the physical or mental or emotional aspect.

As a child, everything is a piece of cake. Life is a breeze. You generally get what you want; except the occasional unhealthy treats of ice-cream or chocolate cookies or McDonalds. A child gets appeased and satisfied so easily. A child lives, and lets live. In simplicity, in innocence.

But as young adults and full-grown adults likewise learn: Sometimes, what you want or demand or yearn hungrily for or work so hard for, may not be what you get. And you have to learn to live with it, to make do with it and, if you would, improvise on it using your resources and capabilities before climbing on higher to the level which you want to attain.
After all, if you don't like the way circumstances are, then go all out and change them. If you can't, then change your mindset.

A person can only grow as much as his horizons allow? The only difference between the impossible and possible lies in a man's determination? If there's a will, there's a way?
Yes, all of these sound inspiring and motivating. But it's a tyrannical mandate that we not only face, but learn to accept, the harsh facts of reality whether we like it or not. Yes, this is vitally --- as well as essentially --- important.

I've always loathe to even think along this line; but it is completely undeniable that not everything is in the control of our hands. The death of loved ones, for one. This is the unspoken universal truth. Some things we simply have not even the slightest control over; and sometimes, what we want --- no matter how badly --- is not what we get.

This tiny fact of life really irks me in a strong way; and knowing that it is true --- with not even a tiny fraction of an element of falsehood lurking stealthily beneath the calm facade of truth --- makes me more disgruntled, resentful, and stubborn. It propels me forward blindly with unnecessary aggression coupled with flaming, blazing anger; making me even more geared up to fight back and challenge whichever individual or authority or whatever fact that opposes me, telling me of things otherwise; even if it's being carried out bearing good intentions.

But yet, whether defeat is acknowledged and conceded willingly or not, the fact remains unshaken. It still stands steadfast and impregnable. That we are totally and arrantly powerless to even alter certain things, no matter how desperately we want to.


Perhaps I'm too used to getting what I aim for and having things fitting nicely into personal plans without major hiccups or massive deviations. But still, I vehemently detest and strongly abhor this horrible feeling of helplessness.

EAT BOOKS ALSO CAN FILL STOMACH ONE. DON'T PLAY PLAY.


As this is only the 2nd week of a new academic term, tutorials and laboratories have not started yet. They typically start on the 3rd week. As a result, I only had 2 lectures to attend on Tuesday; 1 of which is from 8am - 10am, and the another from 6pm - 8pm. There's an 8hours long break from 10am to 6pm.
Having printed lecture notes at the printing center after ending the 1st lecture, I headed to the library at 11am, with the intention of reserving a reference book. Unlike normal reference books on the shelves which have loan periods of 2weeks, this particular reference book is in the restricted section, and thus, die-die also has to be returned to the Loan Desk within 2 hours. And it just so happened that someone (at freaking 9.30am in the morning) has gotten his/her hands on that book before I could, and so, I had to "queue" in line.

Anyway, at 11.30am, I headed down to the Loan Desk to retrieve it. Went up to Level 5 to photocopy what I needed, and returned the book to Loan Desk at 1pm. It was only then, did I realize that the library is freaking crowded.

This is Science Library at early 1pm plus in the afternoon.

The same library at late 4pm plus in the same afternoon.

THIS IS CRAZY. THIS IS ONLY THE 2ND WEEK OF TERM. NEED TO BE SO SHIONG A NOT, YOU TELL ME???!!! YOU THINK CHIONG SUA, AH???
Stressing, sia! This is, I repeat, ONLY the 2nd week of school, can? Arrgggh!!!

Don't they need to eat, by the way?