MOCK JEALOUSY

Biologically, we're constitutionally made up of 50% paternal and 50% maternal. Afterall, we did receive a copy of a DNA strand in each chromosome set from each parent.

I guess, I have a sound idea of where my crappy-ness stems from.

Dad has always been a smoker as far back as I can remember. When I was much younger, it was always one of the painful bones of contention between the two adults. Thus, in recent years, Dad has taken to puffing away in the bathroom; which is - of course - not very, well, smart.

"Dadddddd", I whined out of the earshot of Mum, "The bathroom stinks!!! How can I shower now?"

I sniffed at the air around him and exclaimed jestingly in mock horror. "Oh! 你也很臭 leh..."

Involuntarily letting out a bubble of suppressed giggle, he admonished in a mocking tone; punctured dramatically with an air of heartbreaking grievances, "啊~！ 养女儿真没用。长大后只会说爸爸臭!".

Yesterday afternoon, we were on our way down to the grooming center. I was pretty fretful over Tofu's welfare. I moaned and groaned and rattled on like a broken recorder. Would they be rough on Tofu? Would Tofu enjoy himself over there? Or would he moan and cry at being "abandoned"? Would they feed Tofu water and food? Should I have brought along Tofu's toys so that he can keep himself entertained? Am I going to miss him loads in the hours he's gone? I'm going to be so lovesick!!! And would he miss me too? Would he pin for my return? How would he look like after the grooming session? Will he be very handsome and smart-looking? How clean-looking would he be? He's going to be soooo handsome and dashing and clean and cute, right?

All of a sudden, Dad sighed pitifully.

“你很没有用！

每次一回到家就只会立刻找阿腐。 不见得你回来就找我。

还有啊， 养了你这么大， 都没听过你说我一声 ‘帅’。 现在只会一至说阿腐帅。

养女儿真没用啊！

早知道会这样， 以前你 baby 的时候， might as well 把你丢进垃圾桶啦！”

Dads are evil, I tell you.