Have not been blogging regularly since September last year. There's only one or two sporadic posts each in the month of October 2010 and March 2011. Regular stream of post entries - with conscious efforts - started picking up in June this year, right before I went on a 2-weeks holiday.
After a nearly 9-months of neglect, lesser visitors and friends pop by here nowadays. Maybe it's a good thing. I feel like talking today.
I was thinking is it a good idea to post about this. But one train of thought came to me : What is the use of this blog if I can't even be honest to myself? What is the purpose of this blog, if all it does is to chronicle all the good and happy things which I choose to portray out but keep the rest of the darker ones hidden? This blog will then be nothing more but just a polished publication which has been glossed over. Something superficial, fake.
I've always drawn a line between what is public and what is personal. For one, I try to keep my work life and family life away from publication, which is open for all to see. In the midst of this circumscribing process, I try to strike a balance as well. Being extreme is never good. Balance is the key to life.
Anne Frank puts it so nicely. Sometimes, I find that her sentiments uncannily echo mine - just like a faint little doppelganger. She said something along the line of, "Whatever good there is that I can find here, I love and appreciate them. I look for the good and overlook whatever that is bad. For other areas which are lacking, I find them elsewhere and, when found, learn from wherever it is found."
We love with our heart. Love IS perfect, but love doesn't MAKE things perfect. Anyway, whoever said that life is perfect? When things are not going well, it's when it is time to talk things over and work things out - as mature adults. I guess that's why so many relationships fail. They thought that the love is gone, or has silently ebbed away. But it is just a flimsy, lousy excuse. We can always grow to like - or love - someone. It CAN be nurtured. Love is more than mere feelings; it's an action as well. It's not that love died; rather, we just failed to work at keeping it alive.
Relations are dead. Humans are alive. WE are what makes relationships alive; and never the other way round.
I love them, and all, with all my heart. And when cracks surface and nothing can be done about it, it hurts. Not as much as before, but still.
Answer these questions:
How - tell me, how - do you tell an elder that it's not proper to behave in this-and-that way? That it's not worth throwing a fit over something so silly, so trivial? That what you're losing now is much more severe than what could have been gained?
You can't.
How - tell me also, how - do you react to a younger charge venting emotions publicly? That it's not proper? With the modern definition of freedom of speech, what is proper and what is not, anymore? How do I say nicely, "Strike a balance."? And is it right for me to clamp my feet down, when I myself had been guilty of exactly that before, when I was much younger and rasher? Most importantly, what kind of a message would I be conveying? Don't display your honest emotions? Say what is politically-correct? Don't be true to yourself?
Life is a learning curve; a personalized journey for each individual. Some things are meant to be explored and discovered by the traveler himself in due course, and never super-imposed by someone else. Everyone is unique; one size doesn't - and shouldn't - fit all.
And so, here I am. Sitting here and wondering why do I think so much. And what's worse is that I'm thinking over things which I have - or choose to have - no control over. Jia Sian, and many others, mentioned - at one point or other - that I'm a little too simple. I don't know if it's a blessing or a bane; but I (still) choose to believe in this : life is best when it's simple. Why bother to make things over-complicated?
But, sometimes, I think it's a bane.
At work, the portrayal to give is to be someone who is decisive, politically-correct, everything nice, and as well as a role model. But, honestly, we are all human too. And when I get stumped by questions as silly as this nature - but which there is, ironically, no simple answers to - I feel helpless; confused.
24, going on to 25, and I still feel I need all the wisdom and guidance I can get.
And, nah, I'm not emo-ing.
TTFN!
After a nearly 9-months of neglect, lesser visitors and friends pop by here nowadays. Maybe it's a good thing. I feel like talking today.
I was thinking is it a good idea to post about this. But one train of thought came to me : What is the use of this blog if I can't even be honest to myself? What is the purpose of this blog, if all it does is to chronicle all the good and happy things which I choose to portray out but keep the rest of the darker ones hidden? This blog will then be nothing more but just a polished publication which has been glossed over. Something superficial, fake.
I've always drawn a line between what is public and what is personal. For one, I try to keep my work life and family life away from publication, which is open for all to see. In the midst of this circumscribing process, I try to strike a balance as well. Being extreme is never good. Balance is the key to life.
Anne Frank puts it so nicely. Sometimes, I find that her sentiments uncannily echo mine - just like a faint little doppelganger. She said something along the line of, "Whatever good there is that I can find here, I love and appreciate them. I look for the good and overlook whatever that is bad. For other areas which are lacking, I find them elsewhere and, when found, learn from wherever it is found."
We love with our heart. Love IS perfect, but love doesn't MAKE things perfect. Anyway, whoever said that life is perfect? When things are not going well, it's when it is time to talk things over and work things out - as mature adults. I guess that's why so many relationships fail. They thought that the love is gone, or has silently ebbed away. But it is just a flimsy, lousy excuse. We can always grow to like - or love - someone. It CAN be nurtured. Love is more than mere feelings; it's an action as well. It's not that love died; rather, we just failed to work at keeping it alive.
Relations are dead. Humans are alive. WE are what makes relationships alive; and never the other way round.
I love them, and all, with all my heart. And when cracks surface and nothing can be done about it, it hurts. Not as much as before, but still.
Answer these questions:
How - tell me, how - do you tell an elder that it's not proper to behave in this-and-that way? That it's not worth throwing a fit over something so silly, so trivial? That what you're losing now is much more severe than what could have been gained?
You can't.
How - tell me also, how - do you react to a younger charge venting emotions publicly? That it's not proper? With the modern definition of freedom of speech, what is proper and what is not, anymore? How do I say nicely, "Strike a balance."? And is it right for me to clamp my feet down, when I myself had been guilty of exactly that before, when I was much younger and rasher? Most importantly, what kind of a message would I be conveying? Don't display your honest emotions? Say what is politically-correct? Don't be true to yourself?
Life is a learning curve; a personalized journey for each individual. Some things are meant to be explored and discovered by the traveler himself in due course, and never super-imposed by someone else. Everyone is unique; one size doesn't - and shouldn't - fit all.
And so, here I am. Sitting here and wondering why do I think so much. And what's worse is that I'm thinking over things which I have - or choose to have - no control over. Jia Sian, and many others, mentioned - at one point or other - that I'm a little too simple. I don't know if it's a blessing or a bane; but I (still) choose to believe in this : life is best when it's simple. Why bother to make things over-complicated?
But, sometimes, I think it's a bane.
At work, the portrayal to give is to be someone who is decisive, politically-correct, everything nice, and as well as a role model. But, honestly, we are all human too. And when I get stumped by questions as silly as this nature - but which there is, ironically, no simple answers to - I feel helpless; confused.
24, going on to 25, and I still feel I need all the wisdom and guidance I can get.
And, nah, I'm not emo-ing.
TTFN!
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment