Last night, upon reaching home after dinner, I was in the shower taking a bath. Was doing the dump when, all of a sudden, I thought of the... Erm... Anus.
Have you ever wondered, how would it be like if our anus is not where it is at, but at the sole of our feet instead?
Some of the advantages possible are:
1. You can do your big business STANDING UP.
2. For once, you can see clearly where you're wiping.
3. You have 2 openings, instead of only one. Can eliminate out your waste in half the amount of time.
4. No need to pull down pants and underpants, only to pull them up again.
5. Save water. (don't need toilet bowls. Just do it openly in the public on a piece of paper and throw it away)
Obviously, one of the more obvious cons is:
1. When you fart, the insides of your shoes will stink incredibly. Pity the socks and insoles.
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Contentment is not a good enough excuse for mediocrity
About Me
Life of a simple individual who likes keeping life simple and discovering joy in the simplest thing together with a simple family, a wacky mind, and a lazy silly dog.
She is free-spirited, jolly, fun-loving, open-minded, emotionally expressive, sometimes unpredictable, occasional pesky, bold, and pretty damn fun!
She is free-spirited, jolly, fun-loving, open-minded, emotionally expressive, sometimes unpredictable, occasional pesky, bold, and pretty damn fun!
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Her
This is the lady here, and she can be your new best friend.
Family first, then friends.
Lizards should be skinned alive, rubbed in salt and spices, and fried in boiling oil, no less.
Human being should be enabled to teleport, or at least have an internal GPS for convenient navigation.
Mathematics should just stick to only numbers. Algebra is not math; it's alphabets.
are Art. And don't get me started on Physics.
She would love to learn the guitar.
Already heading in that direction! (=
Gave up.
Terribly and shamefully and hopelessly and ridiculously and horrifyingly directionally-challenged is she (don't ask).
Fats and adipose cells should have negative feedback inhibition mechanism, really.
Don't invite her to sun-tanning. She firmly believes that skin is definitely not for the purpose of roasting under the UV-intensive sun.
Family first, then friends.
Lizards should be skinned alive, rubbed in salt and spices, and fried in boiling oil, no less.
Human being should be enabled to teleport, or at least have an internal GPS for convenient navigation.
Mathematics should just stick to only numbers. Algebra is not math; it's alphabets.
are Art. And don't get me started on Physics.Already heading in that direction! (=
Gave up.
Terribly and shamefully and hopelessly and ridiculously and horrifyingly directionally-challenged is she (don't ask).
Fats and adipose cells should have negative feedback inhibition mechanism, really.
Don't invite her to sun-tanning. She firmly believes that skin is definitely not for the purpose of roasting under the UV-intensive sun.
Her Facts!
She craps substantially, but is subtly pragmatic at heart.
Chocolates keep her contented like a Cheshire cat.
Korean food is the best cuisine.
She has a soft spot for alcoholic drinks. Thank God she has a low tolerance for alcohol.So she can't drink much. Damnit.
LASIK!!! Someday!!! Yes!!! LASIK!!! Done!
Going onto 21 and dreading it with all her guts. Already hit 21. Tragically sad.
An ardent seafood lover.
She's blunt and straight-forward. Yes, quite.
Her first, serious ambition was to be a journalist, reporter, or an author.
At times, she's indecisive and takes eons to come to a decision, and tends to sit a tad too comfortably on the fence. Putting it in a nicer way, she's a neutral and democratic sweet little darling.
She believes firmly that the pen is mightier than the sword, and that words can kill.
When overjoyed, she'll be hyperactive, jump around like a bunny rabbit, and grin stupidly all day.
When hungry, she'll yak and chatter even more. Just like a broken voice recorder.
When upset, she'll be quiet, gloomy, and have no appetite.
When stressed, she sleeps. Escapism, they call it?
She raises her right eyebrow when she's amused.
Whenever both her eyebrows are furrowed for whatever reasons, don't push your luck.
She can be quite opinionated - especially towards things that she's concerned about - even though she seldom voices them out.
They say she's stubborn. Hey, she's not! NOOO!
Words of affirmation are not her cup of tea; they always make her feel compelled to measure up to expectations. Give her words of encouragement instead.
She wears her emotions on her sleeves, and she's in a love-hate relationship with it because it is both a pro and con to be able to be read like an open book.
She would love to visitS. Korea (done!), New Zealand, and Bora Bora someday!
She strongly advocates open and effective communication, and believes that the sun should never set upon an argument.
It is her belief that love ULTIMATELY wins.
Chocolates keep her contented like a Cheshire cat.
Korean food is the best cuisine.
She has a soft spot for alcoholic drinks. Thank God she has a low tolerance for alcohol.
An ardent seafood lover.
She's blunt and straight-forward. Yes, quite.
Her first, serious ambition was to be a journalist, reporter, or an author.
At times, she's indecisive and takes eons to come to a decision, and tends to sit a tad too comfortably on the fence. Putting it in a nicer way, she's a neutral and democratic sweet little darling.
She believes firmly that the pen is mightier than the sword, and that words can kill.
When overjoyed, she'll be hyperactive, jump around like a bunny rabbit, and grin stupidly all day.
When hungry, she'll yak and chatter even more. Just like a broken voice recorder.
When upset, she'll be quiet, gloomy, and have no appetite.
When stressed, she sleeps. Escapism, they call it?
She raises her right eyebrow when she's amused.
Whenever both her eyebrows are furrowed for whatever reasons, don't push your luck.
She can be quite opinionated - especially towards things that she's concerned about - even though she seldom voices them out.
They say she's stubborn. Hey, she's not! NOOO!
Words of affirmation are not her cup of tea; they always make her feel compelled to measure up to expectations. Give her words of encouragement instead.
She wears her emotions on her sleeves, and she's in a love-hate relationship with it because it is both a pro and con to be able to be read like an open book.
She would love to visit
She strongly advocates open and effective communication, and believes that the sun should never set upon an argument.
It is her belief that love ULTIMATELY wins.
Her Likes!
Dogs are man's best friends.
She finds men who wear cologne simply irresistible. It catches her attention.
She loves to indulge sinfully in dark chocolates.
She totally digs black pepper seasoning.
Elegant silver-chain watches - with rectangular faces - totally mesmerize and captivate her.
She simply loves to laugh; she is LOL personified. They say she has quite an unique laughter.
In her humble opinion, Coffee Buns, garlic bread, sushi, rice dumplings, Taiwan sausages, sotong, onion eggs, and Tiong Bahru Chwee Kueh should rule the gastronomical world.
She loves to read. All kinds of books; in particular self-help books and non-fiction books.
Yes, She positively adores Nicholas Tse and Andy Lau. MOST OF ALL, DBSK!!! They're just so handsome and dashing and charming and confident and gorgeous and poised and charismatic and mature, can?
Martin Smith has the world's pair of most beautiful and soulful eyes.
She loves mushrooms with a fervent passion.
An avid fish-lover is she. Not breed or rear them, mind you. She simply loves to EAT them - steamed, sauteed, fried, braised, grilled, raw. Whatever.
She loves to indulge sinfully in dark chocolates.
She totally digs black pepper seasoning.
Elegant silver-chain watches - with rectangular faces - totally mesmerize and captivate her.
She simply loves to laugh; she is LOL personified. They say she has quite an unique laughter.
In her humble opinion, Coffee Buns, garlic bread, sushi, rice dumplings, Taiwan sausages, sotong, onion eggs, and Tiong Bahru Chwee Kueh should rule the gastronomical world.
She loves to read. All kinds of books; in particular self-help books and non-fiction books.
Yes, She positively adores Nicholas Tse and Andy Lau. MOST OF ALL, DBSK!!! They're just so handsome and dashing and charming and confident and gorgeous and poised and charismatic and mature, can?
Martin Smith has the world's pair of most beautiful and soulful eyes.
She loves mushrooms with a fervent passion.
An avid fish-lover is she. Not breed or rear them, mind you. She simply loves to EAT them - steamed, sauteed, fried, braised, grilled, raw. Whatever.
She Abhors!
Sharks Fin soup, Hor Fan, Bak Gua, sour plums, prunes, oranges, and anything sour. She has never touched those stuff since young.
Never ever ever ever call her "Lin" - unless you are her Grandma - because it just simply irks her to the core.
She does not like suspense. SURPRISE is one thing, SUSPENSE's totally another.
Lizards are the most disgusting and filthy creature ever to strut the Earth.
Mathematics should be abolished and uprooted. Totally and completely and unceremoniously. Chinese and Physics come in a close second and third respectively.
Albert Einstein is her nemesis; her arch enemy. He's the root cause of her misery.
Don't pull or tug her hair. She'll bare her razor-sharp teeth and snap her jaw at you.
Never ever touch her cheeks unless you're someone special to her. Yes, not even a poke or a light stroke.
She gets irritated when people imitate her wonderful and melodious laughter.
Most importantly, respect her if you treat her a friend, yes. Basic respect and courtesy at least.
FATS!!!
Never ever ever ever call her "Lin" - unless you are her Grandma - because it just simply irks her to the core.
She does not like suspense. SURPRISE is one thing, SUSPENSE's totally another.
Lizards are the most disgusting and filthy creature ever to strut the Earth.
Mathematics should be abolished and uprooted. Totally and completely and unceremoniously. Chinese and Physics come in a close second and third respectively.
Albert Einstein is her nemesis; her arch enemy. He's the root cause of her misery.
Don't pull or tug her hair. She'll bare her razor-sharp teeth and snap her jaw at you.
Never ever touch her cheeks unless you're someone special to her. Yes, not even a poke or a light stroke.
She gets irritated when people imitate her wonderful and melodious laughter.
Most importantly, respect her if you treat her a friend, yes. Basic respect and courtesy at least.
FATS!!!
Her Wishlist!
Smarter
Smarter
Smarter
Smarter
Smarter
Smarter
Smarter
Smarter
Wiser
Brighter
Clever
Wittier
Taller
Slimmer
Prettier
Lovelier
Sweeter
Cuter
Richer
Hmmm... That's all for now, I guess. I'll add on when I've thought of more :)
And oh ya, did I mention "Smarter"???
Smarter
Smarter
Smarter
Smarter
Smarter
Smarter
Smarter
Wiser
Brighter
Clever
Wittier
Taller
Slimmer
Prettier
Lovelier
Sweeter
Cuter
Richer
Hmmm... That's all for now, I guess. I'll add on when I've thought of more :)
And oh ya, did I mention "Smarter"???
5 comments:
You just spoilt my appetite.
Seriously arh silin.... idk wad to say abt ur randomness mansxz... cfm win me one... dunno y ppple say that im random when we have this woman over here... LOL =X
OMG...why you have such a sick thought ? Now you got me started wondering other body parts growing at different locations...
And I hate to think how the gays will make out based on your imagination. LOL
o.O my mouth went wide opened (like how is yours when you saw the snake on the tv) when i read this article. =.=
Kgoon: Haha... Sorry! Lol... Maybe I should have put a word of caution at the header of the post, eh? Haha =)
TR: I'm NOT random! Haha =X
eothian: Oh, man, why are YOU so sick?! You turned a post as innocuous as this into something... Emmm.. Lewd? HAHA
DC: Haha... Why.. It's an interesting idea anyway, isn't it? ANUSES AT YOUR FEET! Haha =P
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