PSYCHOLOGICAL?


After almost 4 weeks, I've somehow arrived at the conclusion that all the puking is psychological. How else can the Sakae Sushi Buffet at Century Square with LT after our gym session 3 weeks ago be explained? How else can the Bulgogi meal set which was shared with Dorothy on last Saturday afternoon before CGM be explained? And it's been 2 weeks since I've started school attachment. And from Monday to Friday on these past 2 weeks, I've been eating the canteen food heartily; with no resultant ejection or retching after each meal. 2 weeks prior to the start of the school attachment, I was only averaging at most 1 proper meal per day. It was so bad that I could hardly eat solid food, but killed off the hunger pang by drowning myself in Milo. Perhaps the activities in school have really been keeping me occupied and helping in taking my mind off my stomach.

But then again, if it's all psychological, how do I explain the Beef Rice in Expo 4 weeks ago? The Maggi Mee at home 3 weeks ago? The Shrimp Wanton SOUP at Vivocity? The breakfast on Saturday mornings? The Yuan Yang drink at Malan Ramen? The Garlic Tomato SOUP and ICE CREAM in Swensen?
Really, who has heard of anyone regurgitating Wanton Soup, Garlic Tomato Soup, ice cream, or a coffee-tea beverage?! Totally crazy. It's scaring me so much that I kind of dread eating out nowadays.

Madeline actually asked casually 2 weeks ago after service whether have I lost weight. I suspect I have, as my weight is now about 2kg lesser than usual. But as I look into the mirror, I don't seem to have shrunk in size. Maybe just a bit leaner, but otherwise, nothing else looks significantly different. So, I was really surprised when she asked. Of course, I would be lying if I say I'm not pleased - of not, delighted - about the loss of weight. But truthfully, what worries me more is that the weight loss is not even intentional or deliberate.

Today, almost immediately after lunch at the school canteen, my stomach just felt so uncomfortable. Horrible feeling of uncomfortable bloated-ness. It was so bad that I could hardly stand upright. AND to make things worse, it's not as though I overate. The food portion size is healthy. A burger consisting of a chicken patty and a sunny-side up. Plus a cup of Soya Bean. That's all for lunch today. And already the stomach was protesting and rejecting and churning and throwing tantrums and kicking up a ruckus.