NOSTALGIA


I'm feeling a tad nostalgic all of a sudden. Perhaps it's due to the fact that I passed by Kovan - the area which I spent the first 16 years of my life on earth growing up in - on Monday. To top it off, I dropped by my Student Internship Programme (SIP) attachment workplace and paid a visit to my former colleagues on Tuesday.

Or maybe it's simply thanks to the sudden, overwhelming free time that I have to myself now that examination period is history. With the cessation of the busy-ness of everyday life and hectic preparations for the damned (!!!) examination papers, bitter-sweet memories of my growing up years come floating back not unlike a dear old friend come visiting.

And I remember the foolish - albeit in the name of innocence - things I've done as a child, the wrongs I've commited; both delibrately and unwittingly, the funny and witty words I've said, as well as the clumsy and hilarious events that cast me the unflattering role as the protagonist.


I remember Cai lao shi - Mr. Chua - my Chinese teacher in Primary 1.
A gentle, wizened, kind, and endearing elderly man he is. He would always, with a little smile on his lined face, look on at me kindly while I, on the other hand, was totally immersed in trying to complete my zhuo ye before the bell goes off. No, not that I'm racing against time to hand in the assignment before the class is over, but more of completing my homework in school rather than doing it at home.
And I remember how he would conduct story-telling competitions during class lessons, as well as the little gifts he dishes out for all the participants; with the most grand one obviously going to the winner. And of course, it helps that I am - more often than not - the one who bags it home.
Regrettably, as I advanced on to Primary 2 and so forth, we grew more distanced. At times when our path crossed along the corridors, and with his hands trembling slightly due to old age, I wondered does he remember this kid whom he had once liked dearly and taught.
If things can be reversed, I will not allow time and distance to succeed in reducing the both of us into strangers. He is definitely a teacher whom I would have loved to keep in contact with. But sadly, with 13 years passed on from then till now, I doubt he's still walking around on this earth anymore.
I can still remember how he looks like. I regret not knowing him better.


I remember Hafizah, my greatest buddy from Primary 4 to Primary 6.
I recall the times we spent together on the monkey bar, as well as the mischiefs we were up to in our younger days.
The both of us used to cheat in examinations using the most traditional and original method ever.
And there was this incident when we "lost" our school bag -and after much frantic tears, overturned trash carts, and emptied garbage bags - only to learn later that the disciplinary mistress had taken it away due to a misunderstanding.
While waiting for our remedial lesson after school, we would always spend our "lunchtime" racing each other along the corridors, with the other party taking the timing with a stopwatch. Till today, I'm amazed that not a single teacher had caught us red-handed.


I remember Song Koy, my good old friend in my primary school days.
I had absolutely no idea of his existence until one fine day when Mrs. Chiam, my Primary 5 Form Teacher, paired the class up in a boy-girl sitting arrangement to deter us from chatting during lessons in a bid to prepare us for PSLE.
We started off fighting like cats and dogs, but the enemity ceased with the passage of time. He often save my skin from Mrs. Carol Kao - my Primary 5 Science teacher who possesses a super-short fuse and whose wrath I would rather not incur - by surreptitiously tapping our desk or elbowing me when I spaced out during Science lessons, and hence rescueing me from a potential hideous fate of death. I would, in turn, save his scalp from Mrs Chiam's "Scalp Nails-massage" torture by letting him copy my English assignment.
We graduated from primary school, only to find ourselves enrolling into the same secondary school and, by a strange twist of fate, went on to become classmates for the next four years.
Song Koy. My good old friend-cum-classmate from Primary 5 to Secondary 4.


I remember Xiao Hui, another dear old friend whom I've similarly been acquinted with since Primary 5 to Secondary 4.
We used to live a few blocks away from each other, before I shifted to Punggol 4 years ago. The both of us often lunch together after school at an S11 coffeeshop near our place. We adore the Ban Mian over there, which is absolutely divine, and would spend the next 2 or 3 hours chatting over our delicious bowl of Ban Mian. Otherwise, we would hang out at Kovan Heartland Mall, which is a stone throw away from our house.
Upon graduating from secondary school and entering into different tertiary institutes, we drifted apart. The unenthusiastic responses and uninterested replies to my SMSes and attempts at small chats made it worse. And our friendship staled.
I would love to have an opportunity to catch up with her again over the same bowl of Ban Mian, even though the stall has changed hand and the noodles do not taste as terrific and heavenly as before. It is not about food, but the company and bonding between friends. And after devouring our Ban Mian, we could take NeoPrints like we used to. I wish.


I remember Li Huey, my best buddy in Temasek Polytechnic, and now a Medical Technologist in SGH.
She is diligent and conscientious, humble and amicable, quiet and innocent. The discrimination between Malaysians and Singaporeans never crossed our mind, and did nothing to affect our friendship in any way. We got acquainted during the first few days in our Semester 1 of Year 1, and quickly became fast friends. It's heartening to have a firm friendship throughout a tertiary education, a place where it's all "Hi"s and "Bye"s.
We both enjoy serenity and tranquility, but yet can be crappy and rowdy at times. And of course, our common liking for quiet makes us the best mugging buddy. We would spend hours in TP Library after school and study together - just the both of us. We even have our own favourite cubicles in a particular area in Level 5, which we gave it an endearing term of affection - "cosy corner".
Apart from being study-mates and good friends who chat about anything and everything under the sun, we also keep each other sane. We encourage each other when the stress is on, and bring each other back to earth when we were getting slightly paranoid. At times, our conversation goes... ... ...

I'm disappointed. I sleep too much and waste too much time, you know? I haven't got time to study (insert module name).
Me too! There's so much things to do! 24 hours do not seem sufficient anymore. What time did you sleep, anyway?
4am.
Don't be crazy. You're pushing yourself too hard and getting paranoid. Sleeping at 4am means that you barely had 3 hours of sleep. That's hardly enough.

Yep. Sometimes I'm the paranoid one, sometimes it's her. And the other party would keep the paranoid one in check. It's nice and gratifying to have someone giving you a reality check and keeping you from going to the extremes.


I remember my first Cell Group Leader, Adrian.
As a newborn Christian at age 18, he's the first who left me awed in the Power of the Holy Spirit. Ministering to me and speaking secrets which I had honestly thought were mine alone to keep, I had my very first experience of the Greatness of the Most High. And I was, and still am, deeply amazed.


I remember Wei Ting, a former cell group member and a sister-in-Christ.
I recall her sharing her Bible with me during my very first service at Easter 2004 in Indoor Stadium, and volunteering to accompany me to go up to the front in response to the altar call. But I was afraid of going up front and said my Sinners' Prayer at my seat instead.
I recall her sending an encouraging SMS before the commencement of a particular examination paper in TP, which ends with an affirmation of love, "... God's with you, I'm behind you! Jia you!!!".
And I will not forget the timely encouragement she has given. After a particular crying episode during a healing service, she came up to me, looped her left arm around my shoulders, gave my left arm an assuring squeeze, and said earnestly, "You know, I feel that God really loves you a lot. A lot."
The mature Christian knows that God loves everyone equally. But to a baby Christian which I was at that time, it really is a comfort to think that I'm somehow slightly more special in His Eyes.


I remember Aunty Siew Cheng, a colleague I befriended during my SIP attachment.
The motherly love that she has showered on me during my 5-months long attachment really touched my heart. I remember the herbal tea which she brewed for me when I was down with a persistent cough. Knowing that I shun sugared drinks for fear of gaining unnecessary weight, she was mindful to add only a couple of rock sugar to the herbal tea.
I also remember the hairband she bought for me during lunchtime when I forgot to bring mine to work (we need to tie up our hair in the laboratories), and the packed lunches she treated me to whenever we worked OT on Saturdays.


Going for make-up cell for 5-months has, looking at it in another way, a bright side to it too. I remember the times when Kelvin blessed Poh Lin and me cab fares home from cell group meetings, and him teaching me to learn to accept blessings and not to take things too far. Neither have I forgotten the well-meaning advices he dished out when I need a second opinion or help. And of course, it's definitely during these cab journeys home that fostered and catalyzed a fast bonding of friendship between Poh Lin and me. We used to banter and drone on and on and on; from the instant we board the cab until one of us alight it. We're chatterboxes, I guess.
I remember the times when I have trouble to even understand my university A-math lectures, and Jun Ming has never rejected me whenever I asked him for help. Not even once did he decline. The fact that I don't even have O-Levels A-math foundation makes the task even more daunting, but yet he teaches ever so patiently and explains how the steps are obtained or derived.
I remember Pei Hua comforting me when I lost my wallet 2 months back, and lending me her shoulder and shirt sleeves to "cry on" over MSN.
And I also remember urgently printing some of my Final Year Project documents at Poh Lin's place, and the dinner at her house afterwards.
I remember Ting Rui cheering me on in MSN when I truly felt demoralized over my studies, that I'm so foolish to take on such an impossible task. Speaking words of encouragement and refuting my self-limiting mindset, he injects confidence into myself once again.


I remember Xiao Wei, my current Cell Group Leader, and all the things she had done for me for the 1 year plus and counting. She has done more than most, if not all, which I've mentioned thus far.


I remember Xu Bin, a current cell group member and sister-in-Christ.
I don't really know how our friendship advanced from a normal, superficial one; but I'm very much certain that she plays a huge and enormous part. I'm aware of the times she's tried to bring our friendship up to a new, higher level. And guiltily, more often than not, she's the one who initiated it the majority of the time - despite the fact that at times, my responses are all but enthusiastic or eager. But yet, it did not unfaze her.
I remember the book, Travelling Light by Max Lucado, which she blessed me with out of the blue. And on the first page of the book, was written a personal message of encouragement and affirmation. I also remember the white shirt, white pants, and white towel she brought from home on my water baptism day. And neither have I forgotten our very first twosome fellowship at the Noodle Hut at Harbourfront Center, when we chatted animatedly and had a wonderful time talking heart-to-heart.
I've always enjoyed fellowshipping when her two-to-two, sharing our heartfelt sentiments and honest opinion regarding things that are part of the everyday life.


I remember Kelvin Lim, another current cell group member and a brother-in-Christ.
I remember how he would "nag" at me - even up to this day - to be careful on my way home late at night, and to SMS him to let him know that I've reached home safely.
And I've always been thankful for the drinks he has treated me to. Sometimes it's because I'm struggling financially, at times it's because I want to tighten my belt, or sometimes it's simply because I am not hungry and don't feel like eating. But yet, he would; more often than not; ensure that I at least drink something.
And I've not forgotten the time when he purchased a Crispy Coffee Bun for me. I was attending a Bible Study class straight after our weekly Saturday service, while the cell group was having their dinner at the coffeeshop opposite our church at Jurong West. I joined the cell group after my Bible Study, and Kelvin produced a Coffee Bun out of nowhere and said, "There, your favourite, right? I walked past a confectionary just now and saw it. Eat it, you've not had your dinner yet."
I also remember the time at my void deck, when he lent a listening ear while I blurt out whatever I've been bottling up inside. He gave more than a mere listening ear, but also sound advices, heartfelt encouragements, and sharing of personnal similar experiences.


It's undeniable that our lives are all peppered with little acts of love and kindness along the way which would have otherwise be overlooked if one takes it all for granted. It is not only about people rallying around when a loved one passes on, nor is it only about the friends who remain even when you are declared a bankrupt etc.
Sure, nothing beats having people who cares about you unconditionally when you're in the worst patch ever. But those who have always been there during your ups and downs, doing little things which might not seem as touching or significant, are not to be overlooked or written off just like that.

Life is full of little mercies, and it's these little mercies that link the significant jigsaw pieces together, forming a beautiful protrayal of life.

Give thanks for the little mercies.