LEAPING TERRORIST LIZARDS


I know that lizards don't leap (who in their right mind will insist they do?). But in my dream, they did.

In that disgusting, revolting dream of mine *shivers*, this particular lizard that's twice as disgusting and thrice as revolting is leaping from the left wall to the right wall, in a zig-zag manner. Left, right, left, right, left, right, zig, zag, zig, zag, zig, zag. With each approaching leap, I shrinked back in terror until I backed into a corner. Die! No where else to run, liao! So, I awaited my doomed fate in jaw-dropping, heart-thumping, legs-shaking, eyes-popping horror. Leaping Lizard took a last and final leap off the left wall, and flung itself gleefully in my direction. The last thing I remember before jolting out of my supposedly blissed sleep is the brown, scaly underside of Leaping Lizard looming towards my face.

I guess the lizard scare episode I had 3 days ago attributed to the leaping lizard dream this morning. On Thursday, I arrived at Xu Bin's place for Cell Group Meeting. Slipping out of my slipper, I stepped forward and reached for the doorknob with my right hand. To my shock and terror, nestled comfortably in the middle of the doorstep and only a few centimeters away from my pretty feet, is a disgusting LIZARD! Oh my gosh!!! The filth!!! I jumped a few metres into the air and hastily, scrambled to the top of the staircase; as far away from the filthy lizard as possible. This smart chick of a princess here (i.e. yours truly) then whipped out her mobile phone and called for SOS. Alvin Heng opened the door and, for a moment, casted me a what-on-earth-are-you-doing bewildered stare. I shrieked even more and yelled frantically, "Don't! Don't step down onto the doorstep!!!" Gosh, what if he frightens the damned lizard and send it scurrying towards my direction? The horror!!! I gestured for him to look down at the doorstep and, upon realizing the source of my ahem, distress, stooped down, picked up the brown, scaly filth, and flung it out of the corridor.
I don't feel sorry for the lizard at all. No kidding. Orbi-good ah!!!

I hate close shaves with lizards. I guess my biggest living nightmare, till today, is having to share a lift with an ADULT LIZARD. What the!!! What on earth is a lizard doing inside a lift anyway? How on earth did it even get there in the first place??!!

Another close, dreadful encounter I had was at Expo. Having just finished service, we adjourned down to the Food Court to fellowship. A few of us reached the eatery first and proceeded to find an empty table. After having managed to get a nice, long table, the next task was to find enough empty chairs.

"Si Lin, nah. I've found one." Kelvin Lim passed an empty chair over for me to arrange it around the table.
I reached out with both hands, and before I could grab its legs (luckily!!!), I caught something brown scurrying across the seat, and towards my direction.

I dodged sideway just in time, and the loathsome creature landed on the spot where I stood a mere moment ago.

Of course, the accompanying piercing and high-pitched yelp I let out earned me some attention. People in the vicinity turned around and looked, trying to locate the source of the commotion. I was thrown a dirty look from a woman sitting nearby, while a Brother seated at the table behind smiled to himself before ensuring me that he had seen the lizard escaping into the gutter.

How could Kelvin Lim throw a lizard at me???!!! So mean!!! *rages*
And, of course, I simply refused to sit anywhere near the chair which the lizard had occupied earlier.


Anyway, the reason why I overslept today must be due to the stupid Leaping Lizard. Was supposed to attend Sunday service as I could not go for yesterday's, but ended up being very late for it. I had 7 missed calls and 1 missed SMS on my mobile phone, mostly courtesy of Kelvin Lim. As a last resort, Xiao Wei called my home number.

"Si Lin? You just woke up ah?" She asked.
"Ya... Why? What time is it already?" I croaked groggily.
"It's 10am"
"Orh, okie." *yawns* "Then... What time is the service ah?" (pardon me. My brain was only beginning to start up.)
"10am loh."
"Orh... okie." *yawns somemore* "WHAT??? 10am, and now is already 10am??"
"Yes. Can you hurry wash up and make your way down?"

Oh man, she is so sweet and nice. I mean, if it's me, I'll berate the person upside-down, rage at him/her, and start my own preaching tirade about Time Management and Personal Responsibility.

Xiao Wei is such a nice person. Heeheehee!

Anyway, it's not entirely my fault that I overslept. Leaping Lizard shares half of the blame. Hummmph!