TO: THE STUPID-EST CREATURES ON EARTH


I seriously don't like lizards.
I simply loath them with a fervent passion.
Ditto.

From the crown of its head right down to the ends of its tail, I simply can't bring myself to nurture a tiny, weeny bit of affection for the grotesque, miserable, and disgusting creatures. Apart from gobbering down pesky insects and blood-thirsty mosquitoes, trying to think of another good reason to justify their mere existence proves downright challenging. (No, leaving its footprints all over the walls of my house or dropping onto people's head when they lose their footing certainly do NOT constitute as good points).

Eat insects?
Frogs carry out the noble task too. And the best part is we are able to make Tian Ji Zhou (Frog legs congee, for those Han Yu Ping Yin-challenged) out of our croaky and tasty friends.

Lizard meat?
Please, for goodness sake. Spare me.
*pui*

And to my deepest disgust, 2 lizards have been sighted in the house for this week alone.
1 of them was enjoying the luxury of crawling all over the floor (The audacity!!! What does it think it is, competing with me for walking space!!??) until Mum spotted it. Frightened out of its wits, the bloke scurried for its dear life with its tail between its legs and found refuge in, of all places, MY ROOM!!

Sigh.

I had severe insomnia that very night.
=(

Thankfully, the same lizard was seen hiding behind the door of the master bedroom's the following morning. After successfully cajoling Dad into showing the offending lizard who's boss (Dad was about to leave for work), the ingenious me stepped, no, sorry, I meant climbed onto my brother's bed and sought safety there.

A couple of sprays of insecticides later, and with the help of a mighty broomstick, the dazzled lizard was flung out of the window from a height of 12 storey. And of course, pitiful as the poor lizard (tsk tsk tsk) may sound, it failed to score any sympathy points from me - the ardent anti-lizard advocate whose personal motto and modus operandi is, "All lizards are pathetic, and pathetic lizards deserve no pity.".

Kudos to super-hero Dads who yield broomsticks and insecticide cans!!!


The second lizard is, to date, still hiding and sneakily lurking around somewhere in my brother's room. Being the smart chick that I've always been (and, indubitably, still am), my bedroom door has been kept tightly closed since then.
I honestly hope that the lizard starves to death and rot in my brother's room.
*keeping my fingers crossed*


Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, or rather, one who encounters her nemesis.
Now you know I'm not exactly quite an angel, though I frequently declare otherwise at least once per day.
(=