TRAVELING AND MEETING PEOPLE

One of the greatest advantages of having to travel from one end of Singapore to the other end is the bountiful opportunities to meet up with people. This is especially so when there's MRT concession pass. Today (Tues), after the orientation, I had lunch with LJ at Jurong Point. Following which, I traveled down to meet up with E at The Coffee Bean at Singapore Post at Paya Lebar.

Tomorrow (Wed)? Will be having lunch with DanC in campus. After orientation ends at 4pm, I'll be meeting up with Mad at HSA. Following which, we'll be going to a nearby cafe at Tiong Bahru to meet up with DH. After that, I'll be traveling down to Tampines to meet up with A, who'll be driving both of us down somewhere for dinner.

See? Armed with the MRT concession pass, I'm traveling all over Singapore! It makes sense, really; since I'm already traveling across the island just to attend school. Might as well meet up with people and friends on my way BACK home.

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Anyway, over coffee at The Coffee Bean earlier today, E (a married man with a baby as old as Grace is) and I had a rather interesting conversation.


E: You women just like to think too much (referring to this joke). Always complicating matters.

M: No, we don't. It's just that men and women think differently, that's all.

E: No, seriously, you women do. For example, if a man forgets an anniversary celebration, you women get all upset, and start equating it to: "He don't love me anymore. I'm no longer important to him".

M: Well, you can't blame us. Anniversaries ARE important.

E: But just because a man forgets an anniversary, it does not mean that she is no longer important to him. It could just be a slip of the mind, or that he is too caught up with work.

M: That's the thing. If a man places his work and career above his family, the priorities are all wrong. Even I don't agree with this. After all, anniversary is only a once-a-year thing.

E: Forgetting an anniversary doesn't make the man's love for the woman any lesser. What's important is that as long as the man is willing to risk his all, if his woman is ever in any form of danger. Forgetting an anniversary doesn't necessarily mean that love is lost; or that it is getting any lesser, even.

M: Yes, that's what is the most important. But try looking at it from a woman's point of perspective. Generally, women give up their all when they decide to marry a man. On the day of marriage, to the woman, it's like leaving everything behind, cleaving off from her maternal family, and to be one with the man. To women, marriage is a very big leap. Of trust. It is like entrusting their lives into the hands of their man. So, how would we feel if our man forgets important things like anniversaries?

M: The thing is: even for a married couple, they should be GOOD FRIENDS with each other even after marriage. You know, married couples should maintain their relationship. More important than anything, they should be each other's close friends. Best friends. Buddies. They should be totally free and easy with each other, talking about anything under the sun. Something like, being able to casually sling an arm over the spouse's shoulder, holding hands, little pecks in the morning, go fishing, having pillow fights, sharing inside jokes, teasing and jabbing at each other, leaning on each other, encouraging each other when the other party is down, or whatnots. The rapport, the connection, that not even blossom friends are able to achieve. The highest level; the acme. It's these daily trivialities that keep - I won't use the word "passion" here - but, relationships and marriages, going. And not all men are all touchy-feely, and neither are all men expressive enough in their love. Especially in this fast-paced society. That's when anniversaries come into play! It's understandable and perfectly fine if a man forgets about anniversaries once in a while, as long as the daily trivialities of affection are present. But if these are lacking, AND with the man forgetting about anniversaries to add on, then it's really bad.

E: Just admit that you women think too much. Know what a friend told me just the other day? He came across this lady, and she was wearing a low-cut dress. He commented that she looks good, and can you guess what she replied? "Just because I'm dressed like this does NOT mean that I'm a whore"!

M: Hmmm... Who knows, maybe your friends said it in a leer and suggestive manner? Of course women will not respond positively to it.

E: Well, this I'm not sure. I'm saying it as how he narrated to me. Anyway, the point is, if a woman does not want to be looked at, then the choice of clothes should be made with more discretion, isn't it? If the clothes scream for attention, then how can she not get it?

M: I don't quite agree. I don't see the rationale - or the need - to dress just to conform to the general public.

E: Ok, since you put it that way, then if one day, I'm dressed in a policeman uniform, and a robbery took place and someone came up to me asking for help to chase after the robber, can I just say, "Look here, my friend, just because I'm dressed in a policeman uniform does not necessarily mean that I'm a police officer, right?"?

M: That's not the point. You're talking about figures of authority here. That's a totally different league.

E: Ok, then how about if I dress up as a clown? If some parents come up to me, requesting that I perform some tricks to entertain their kids, should I do so? Just because I'm in a clown costume?

M: Cosplay. Say you're into cosplay.

E: The thing is, that lady was dressed in a provocative and seductive way. And it's normal for my friend to look. Come on, it's normal for anybody to look! Even you women do so, don't you?

M: Ya, I admit, we do, too.

E: And the guys will probably go, "Woow! Nice body; hot babe!". The women? Most probably they'll be cursing inside and scolding "b****", right?

M: Maybe. Perhaps. I can't say for the general population of women by and large. But most definitely I myself would scrutinize her figure and go, "Wow, long legs! Slim waist! Chicken McNugget!".

E: Ya, you women will turn into green-eyed monsters and start scolding "b****" in your heart.

M: But isn't it funny; the way it is? If some woman dresses sexily, you men enjoy it. But when it comes to your own girlfriend or wife, you men react totally differently. Double standard!"

E: No, that's not!

M: Yes, it is. If other women can dress in such a way, then why not your own girlfriend or wife as well? If it's not double standard, then what is it?

E: WE'RE PROTECTING OUR WOMAN!

M: Rubbish.

E: No, it's not. See ah... We, as a man ourselves, know exactly what is going on in every men's mind whenever they see something nice. And we also know that all other women are secretly cursing and scolding "b****" in their hearts. Therefore, by not allowing our own girlfriend or wife to dress in anything a tad revealing, we're ACTUALLY PROTECTING THEM!

M: Warped theory. Just admit that it's double standard, or that you men are jealously possessive.

E: Really! We're protecting our woman from being labeled as "b****", or being the object of naughty thoughts of other men!

M: ... ... ...

E: And, just admit it. Deep down, you women like it when your man takes control, even if he indicates his displeasure in your choice of clothes. It goes to show that he cares, and is concerned, about you.

M: ... ... ... Yah.





I lost.



On second thoughts, come to think of it, what E said makes sense, really. I've never really looked at it this way before; but I think - to an extent - it's true that men are actually protecting their own woman when they restrict their choice of clothes. Ok, I have an uneasy feeling that this sentence will not go well with many feminists. I clarify, that statement there is just a personal opinion; and everyone is rightfully entitled to having one.

Or maybe, it's just double standard under the disguise of protectiveness.



Anyway, the conclusion? One can never win against a married man.